It's not sad or happy. Something in between. I guess i feel "Normal" mood. Maybe sometimes we just feel weird not feeling funky. Or another weel aoung us to get through again. I could be feeling the #monday #blues lol
As I mentioned earlier, I met with a new doctor today. I really liked my previous one but life changes made him choose between his practice and family. I'm thrilled he decided on family. More respect.
Anyway, my anxiety hit the roof when my new doc walked in and the first words out of his mouth were, "What do I need to say to you that all of this (gesturing to my file) is all in your head? I think you like playing the victim and I don't have time for victims." I actually made myself proud that I didn't get so angry to cause physical harm. I didn't say a word, gathered my things and walked out of the room. I heard him say, "well there goes another one." Not sure what he meant and I don't want to dive too deep into it. I stopped at the front desk and requested my files. Told them I would wait and I prayed he didn't come around the corner. He didn't so I'm not in jail. Just back to the drawing board. Why is it so hard for the medical field to believe that fibro is real?
No sleep for me tonight...
I am to the point where I want to self harm. My suicidal thoughts are back, I don’t know what else to do., Everyone says to hang in there but I cannot. I’m a mess. I cannot take it anymore. It got to the point where I used to dread getting weekly allergy shots but getting injected today felt good. So I’m supposed to get knee injections for the next five weeks starting next week, I’m actually looking forward to it because of everything that’s going on
Bad day/Bad week
I've succumbed to #Isolation #Depression and #Anxiety for almost three weeks. I've missed work, haven't left my apartment, haven't showered. It's the worst it's been in months. Even with me doing the kind of positive stuff I'm supposed to like journaling, my 12 step meetings, listening to guided meditations and trying some new trauma recovery stuff like EFT and Peter Levines somatic exercises. I don't know. Just feel lost
I've succumbed to #Isolation #depressiom and #Anxiety for almost three weeks. I've missed work, haven't left my apartment, haven't showered. It's the worst it's been in months. Even with me doing the kind of positive stuff I'm supposed to like journaling, my 12 step meetings, listening to guided meditations and trying some new trauma recovery stuff like EFT and Peter Levines somatic exercises. I don't know. Just feel lost and #hopeless .
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