"Find what makes the suffering worth it."
The conflicting messages we receive:
Share your story/No one wants to hear your story
You need to talk about it/All you do is complain
Stand up for yourself/Go talk to a professional
Then, you talk to a professional and are told everyone in a family has different perspectives...the implication being, your truth is a misconception.
Talk to me/Shut the fuck up
This is why more and more of us are ranting on FB; no one wants to hear what we go through and we still need to get it out of our heads and hearts and we desperately need someone, anyone to care.
We are trying to keep our feet planted solidly on the surface of the earth instead of planted six feet under it.
And, those who dare to say, "Suicide is just transferring your pain to others," it is not OUR pain. It is the pain YOU have given to us. Suicide gives the pain back to it's rightful owners. We are exhausted from being the delegated pain carrier just because we were strong enough to carry it. Our legs are buckling from carrying it alone for far too long.
And, NO, Dr Jordan B Peterson, there is nothing that makes the suffering worth it when the suffering is done alone and nothing positive will ever come of it--no one cares to hear the stories of pain and what we did to survive it, no one cares to hear the songs, no one cares to view the drawings and paintings. And, if the value comes posthumously, I say, "Fuck that!"
People need to have remorse now and make life better now. Stop the suffering now. Having remorse when no amends can be made is an exercise in futility; because, without changes in the present, the problem persists generation after generation. Like a child who receives consequences for poor behavior hours later, they have no understanding what the punishment was for and, therefore, have no idea what behavior needs to change.
This essay was written for all the gurus offering advice from a place of no experience.
#Isolation #emotionalpain #Suicide #generationalabuse