Over and over, I find myself sitting here alone and wha seems like hated. I find myself best at hurting the love of my life, leaving her because I don’t wanna hurt her. And hurting her again anyway.
Feeling like a useless piece of sh**. Feeling like I’m no good for nothing and no one.
I don’t deserve her... she needs to walk away for good...
Normal noises have been making me jumpy , feeling really depressed today. Also At night when I try to relax my core goes nuts with jumpy quivers.. anybody understand? God I hurt so bad .. why do I have to fight every day of my life. At this point I have less believers in me then I use to.
I feel like I can’t do anything at all. I have good days where I can participate in my daughter’s life and enjoy mine, but I wonder if the consequences that’s one after a good day are even worth the day I had. I still morn my old life, my dreams, my freedom... I sometimes wonder what I did to deserve this. I spend hours analyzing my life until I have horrible anxiety attacks. I feel so out of control I wonder why I bother continuing to live. My daughter might be better off with her father. My family would be better off without the burden of taking care of me all the time and trying to understand things I can’t reply to them. #Depression #Lupus #Anxiety #helpless #feelinguselesss
I’m scared and alone and have no idea how or what will help or change me. I was told by a close family member recently that despite my saying that I’d like to be around her family, she thinks that I actually would not be able to accept the enthusiasm and positivity in their environment. #FeelingAlone #feelingforgotten #feelinguselesss #feelingsodisappointedinmyself
Thinking that I just want out of this black blank sad mess I don’t care why I just feel like destroying my exsistence is the only way , it’s so hard to live inside my body with my rageing mind .
Does anyone feel this way
#feelinguselesss #aloneinthedark
I so tired of making progress in feeling better about my life just for something to hinder it and push me backwards. What’s the point in keep trying? Why keep fighting? Why bother? Meds don’t help if you can’t turn your brain off and get yourself to stop bashing yourself. Memories just remind you what you had and what you did wrong. Just tired of feeling false hope of being happy just to have it ripped away.
sometimes i feel like im the only one whose life is not changing . i see people around me going through big changes in their lives, things are happening for them but it just feels like im on a standstill. like im not achieving anything , almost like i have no direction and its frustrating , because things just keep not working out for me . im trying to not be discouraged but its so hard to be happy for others sometimes when i feel so desperately under pressure to prove to myself that i have some sort of potential . i feel defeated , am i doing something wrong ?, should i be doing things differently ?. i hate to sound like im nagging ,im sorry about that . I honestly sometimes feel like im slowly giving up on myself . #frustrated #feelinguselesss
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