hemorrhagic stroke

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The extra pain of extra stressful days.

I had a stressful day today. I tend to dread days that I know will be stressful. It’s beyond that normal stress that a healthy person may feel. It’s the stress that comes with knowing that, on top of the stressful day you know you are about to have, there’s also the stress of knowing the pain you about to be in from your stressful day. Is stress even a word anymore?

Anywho…

I feel like I have to plan for days that are going to be hard. I’m plagued with questions like, “Who is going to take over duties while I’m recovering?” “Will I be recovered enough by the next day to go back to business as usual?” “Will the person stepping in do a good enough job?”

And when spontaneously stressful days occur? Just forget it. I’m going to bed and calling the week a wash.

I have to remind myself that it’s ok to recover. It’s ok to have someone take over a bit. It’s ok self care. It’s not just ok: it’s necessary.

I have to talk myself out of the guilt I feel for having others step in for me. When I feel guilt I don’t recover. When I don’t recover I need people more. When I need people more I feel more guilty. And that, my friends, is stressful. #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #HemorrhagicStroke #ChronicMigraineSyndrome #ChronicPain

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#Caregiverburnout from the day I said I do


This is my first post in a site ever and feel as though I need to reach out. I never dreamed I would be a #Caregiver of my husband 6 weeks after we got married. My all American dream of having a house with a white picket fence, children and a happy family was thrown out the window. my husband was a cop and was in a terrible accident that left him in a wheelchair. my husband health improved and was able to walk again after several years and hope for a bright future came back. Fast forward 15 years We now have 4 beautiful children however he was in another accident 5 years ago and is now back in a wheelchair,#HeadInjury and #HemorrhagicStroke. I struggle everyday with #Caregiverburnout #Depression #Anxiety and . I am only 36 years old and feel as though I am trapped because I don't know who I am anymore besides a mom and a caregiver. I love my husband and children with all my heart and wouldnt go back in time and change anything but I feel as though I'm always and feel guilty.

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My Story #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #Dysautonomia #LivingWithPOTS #AutonomicDysfunction #Stroke #HemorrhagicStroke #Endocarditis

My name is Kirsten, I’m 36 years old, and I’m a wife, and mother to two amazing daughters. Our family loves to hunt, hike, fish, or just about anything outdoors!
In August 2016, I started having high fevers and shaking chills about once a week. I had been to the ER, and my family doctor had run test after test, with everything coming back normal. I had been having lots of palpitations also, but that had been pretty normal for me.
Just before opening day of archery season, I asked my doctor if it was okay for me to go 6+ miles into the backcountry. She told me yes, since everything was coming back normal that I should be fine, and if anything else came up, my husband and I were smart enough to get me out of there. So we went!
On opening morning I missed a shot at a huge bull elk! And then was hit with a fever and chills again. So I went and laid down for a bit. The fever broke, and we left for the evening hunt. My husband had told me all along that if I ever felt it was time to go, to just say something. Sitting on the edge of the meadow, I realized something didn’t feel right, so I told him I was ready to go. I stood up to grab my pack and was hit with the worst headache behind my left eye. It only lasted for a few minutes, and then we hiked to camp, grabbed some things, and started heading out of camp. It took us 4 hours to get home. I was horribly dizzy and nauseous, and soon realized that I couldn’t say the correct things, and couldn’t see well. I spent the next 12 days in the hospital due to a subarachnoid hemorrhage caused by endocarditis, that I had gotten from a tooth that I had pulled 9 months prior.
Afterwards, I started having these “episodes”, where my heart would race or palpitate, I would get dizzy, have horrible muscle aches and joint pain. They’d last for a couple weeks, and then I’d feel better for a week or two. I was diagnosed with anxiety, silent migraines, possible panic disorder and PTSD.
The beginning of 2019, I got a stomach bug, and these “episodes” were now my whole life. They never went away. Soon I realized my heart rate was doubling just when I stood up, and tripling when I did basic things like moving laundry or picking up my room. I went from hiking 15 miles a day, up and down mountains, to barely being able to stand long enough to make dinner.
I finally did the research and googled everything, and realized that the answer was POTS. I went to my family doctor and told her, she did a poor mans tilt table test, and agreed that I might be on to something. I then went on to see cardiology and cardiac electrophysiology, and had a tilt table test done, and was diagnosed with POTS!
I’m now learning to live with POTS, doing cardiac rehab to get my life back, and on some meds that help. I’ve been able to backpack shorter distances, and look forward to hunting season again this year, even if I can’t do quite as much as I used to. I’ll keep fighting. I may not live the life I used to, but I will live my best life!

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My brother is improving slowly #HemorrhagicStroke

My brother is moving his right leg with the physical therapist. I am so happy to see this. The right arm is still immobile and he’s not talking but this is huge. I am so grateful.

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I can’t sleep #HemorrhagicStroke

I wake up every night and early in the morning. I can’t stop thinking of my brother. I need to accept this, but I can’t. That’s my dear brother. He’s my best friend, my confidant, and the one person in the world that knows me. I am so sad that the relationship we had is changed for forever and that he’s going to have to struggle and work hard to get back his voice, feeling on his right side, and that everything will be a chore. I will be there every step of the way, but I can’t help feeling sad. How do I keep going? I have depression and BPD and I just want my brother back.

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#HemorrhagicStroke

It’s been a week today that my brother had a hemorrhagic stroke. I just got home from the hospital and am doing more research on strokes and stroke recovery. I have to be educated so that I know the best way to help him. I am so depressed I can’t even move right now. I just want my brother back. He is my best friend, my confidant. I feel absolutely lost and I can feel his frustration, confusion and pain. I will always be there for him, helping him recover, but I am so sad that our lives have been changed forever.

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If I make flash cards for my brother to communicate better to me, will that hurt his feelings or help? I hope this doesn’t seem like a silly question


#HemorrhagicStroke

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My brother #HemorrhagicStroke

My brother had a hemorrhagic stroke a week ago and I can not accept it. When I think my brother may never be the same, I just cry. I miss talking and laughing with him. I am having a very hard time.

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