idontwanttobealone

I found out that the boy i was talking to a while a few weeks ago sexually assaulted me. What he did to me I thought was normal for boys to do. He would do things even after i said no or to stop. I am talking to a police officer about it today but i am extremely scared to be at home because he lives so close and I am scared to go to school. Every boy scares me now and i can't tell my parents cause they will kick me out of the house. I don't know what to do. #help #idontwanttobealone

They don’t know. They don’t know how bad I hate myself. They don’t know how mad I get at myself every time I fuck things up. Even when is not my fault I feel like it is. And even then I’m hard on myself too for letting it happen. I hate myself. I just want to die. I don’t want to hurt anybody. I just want this feeling to stop.

Venomous Words

Your words cut deeper than a blade
Blood dripping from your tongue​ as you speak with no filter
Cutting into my flesh like a razor blade
You leave scars that can never be healed
I would rather be hit with your bare hands
Then cut into a million pieces by the Venom and hate that fall from your lips
In a world where hate is the worst thing possible
You top the word off with your seething lies
You would rather leave wounds then tell the truth
Because the truth has seared your heart and left you numb at one point
Your lips nothing but a sword waiting to push me away and rid me of your life
Only you know that will never happen
Because your blade is dull
And I keep coming back for more
Until your tounge drips lust and truth and honesty
It will only scar me, not kill me
I will still be that small seed of something good that you can not kill
And I will take the blade as I am used to being hurt and scolded for no reason
So let your words cut deeper into my flesh
Watch me bleed until you are happy
After all, that is what I am here for
To take the pain so you can tuck the truth deep down in the pit of your aching heart
A tounge like a snake
A predator ready to take the light out of my eyes
But...
Just know this
I know your words are in fact all lies

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #wordshurt #idontwanttobealone