imessedup

I did something stupid and can’t stop thinking about it. I kind of hate myself for it. I have no one I can talk to about it and that makes it feel worse. I wish I had friends.

I had a bit of an oversharing/boundary problem with my therapist. I emailed him multiple times a week and many times it was multiple times a day. I recognized my issue and apologized and we talked it through. I’ve done very well the last several weeks and reached out to friends and the crisis text line when absolutely necessary. I had a session today through telehealth. I am currently at my daughters house and experienced a new scary experience and panicked and emailed him. Now I’m ashamed and afraid he’ll be upset at me for crossing boundaries. Not because of anything he’s done or said before, he’s a very kind understanding therapist but we set boundaries for a reason. I just don’t want to mess this up because I don’t want to start over again with a new therapist. 😭 #mentalillnessconfession #Shame #Therapy #Messedupfeeling #imessedup

Thirteen hundred miles away from my fiance, I broke a promise last Friday. He's hurt and confused. I want to get through it but he's stuck. It's not infidelity, and I was honest about what I did. I misunderstood something he said about it the previous day, leading me to believe it was ok to do it. I should've asked for clarification, but I think I was scared of what his reaction would be. I'm afraid I'm going to lose him even though we've gotten through much bigger problems. He is a TBI survivor with an opiate addiction, I have Bipolar and all the rest, it seems.  I moved here 14 months ago, still have no friends.  Even my counselor is online but my docs are face-to-face, at least.
#bipolarrollercoaster   #imessedup #alphabetsoup #PTSD #OCD #ADHD  #lonely #confused #Bipolar 
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