Imsodone

2020 has been one hell of a year… Can I hide for the rest of it? #2020 #hide #hell #Imsodone

I just want answers to my constant pain, I can’t do the things a 21 year old can do, I couldn’t do anything a 20 year old could do, I couldn’t do anything a 19 year old could do, and I couldn’t do anything an 18 year old could do.

Is it too much to ask for to want to be better?

It’s been three years

I’m too young for this shit

I feel so numb to this all that my heart has passed the broken stage

My anxiety isn’t helping my state

I’ve already cried so often over this all

Just...

All I’m left to wonder is

Why?

#Anxiety #Pain #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #CheckInWithMe #RareDisease #Neuropathy #Imsodone #Stress #frustrated #TooYoungForThisNonsense #IfYouFeelHopeless #brokenheart

It’s finals week. 3/4 classes complete. My last and hardest final tomorrow. But I’m in So. Much. Pain. My back has been becoming worse for months now. But only in this last week has the burning behind my shoulder blades, dull ache from neck to shoulders and sharp shooting pain along my spine returned.

That, and my family has really been exacerbating my anxiety. I love my mom, I do. But she’s so back and fourth on actually being dependable. Not in like a “will she love me” kind of way. But more in a “can I count on her to be ready to leave RIGHT AT 10am” kind of way. And with my anxiety I don’t handle the unreliability well. Am I being a horrible person/daughter by getting upset when she doesn’t leave on time? (lately resulting in me being very, very close to late for class, or actually late for class)

Between the stress of finals, my mom, and the constant pain. Honestly my emotions were so overwhelming that if I hadn’t been desperately trying to get to school for my class that I might’ve gone home and relapsed... #Imsodone #SelfharmRecovery