Hey awesome peoples First my name is Matt and it's a pleasure to meet you all and to be here with you Also I know you all will get this because well we're all in the same boat together but know that I always try to stay upbeat and positive in all my communications. It throws a lot of people off and at first my therapist was bewildered ( anyone else #testify ?) and I get from a lot of people "Oh, there's nothing wrong with you!" psh, whatever (internal monologing there). So, about me, and the fun roller coaster I'm riding:
Now that I've finally admitted I have a problem I have the oh so fun official diagnosis of PTSD Severe Depression and Social Anxiety ( making this post is very hard but #powerthrough !). My therapist says the depression stems from my PTSD, which is caused from some childhood abuse, my oh so joyful time in the US Army, and losing my first wife to a heart attack when I was there with her. As for the anxiety, I suffered an on the job injury (I was a car-hauler trucker) I blew out my L4-L5 disc to the point that I was paralyzed from the waist down because the disc was pinching off the nerves on both sides of my spinal column (fun right?). After a surgery, and months of physical therapy, I was actually feeling great and almost back to normal. The docs released me against my PT's advice and day 1 back to work... yep, you guessed it, re-herniated the disc. Not bad enough to require another surgery they said, so they released me again, but now I'm 38 and walking hunched over like a 110 yr old man with a cane. My left leg is all but useless from the nerve damage, and I have 100% nerve loss in my left foot, making it completely useless. Thanks to this, and the fact that whenever I do go out I have to not only use a cane, but have to use a buggy in the stores, my anxiety kicks into overdrive so now I just avoid leaving the house altogether.
Phew! That was a big post, so thanks for reading it! I'm trying to pull my life back together, and have recently launched my own small business as a Virtual Assistant (yay for not leaving the house!) and Travel Adviser/Planner so hopefully that scales up pretty quick and I can actually earn money while waiting for Disability to kick in (attorney says before my bday in Feb, but I doubt it). Thanks again all for reading, and I look forward to our interactions in the days to come! (At least I tell myself that so I'll actually show up and interact lol but I really do miss being social so yay for a great community!)
Latest
