I'm in another manic state tonite, my gf turned on me out of no where, I am there for her as best asI can after her dad passed away in her arms several weeks back, but snapping at me the way she did sent me spiraling out of control. I'm at the point where I want to tear my skin off and escape from this body ! One problem I face is I'm a body piercing artist, so I can sit for hours shoving very large gauge needles thru my body, I know where it hurts the worst, and I get that sick "thrill" when I finally pull them out, to watch my blood pour from my body. I'm writing this in hopes it will keep me from doing it, cause you all would know bout it & I would feel bad & ashamed. . .. .. . . I tell her over & over & over again to join this "app" and get help for her endless grieving, but I imagine she must take that step herself. There's only so much I can do, I don't have all the answers in the damned universe !
#Selfharm #BPD #CPTSD #Cancer #MANICINSOMNIA #AnxietyDisorder #PanicDisorder #Migraines #TBI #SpinalStenosis #Polyneuropathy #Pacemaker /DEFIBRILLATOR#COVID -19