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I had a meeting with my psychiatrist today for #medmanagement . She wants me off #Xanax . I’m being cut from 4mg-3mg/day. She’s also insisting I go into the #Hospital for #detox . I do NOT want to do the hospital. I WOULD like to be off xanax.

What have you experienced with Xanax withdrawal? Would a hospital really help me?
#Fibro #Fibromyalgia #Type2Diabetes #Diabetes #Diabetes #Deafness

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Reenactment of my 3-minute long Psychiatric NP appointment


In the ever-shortening world of the psychiatric medication-management appointment my Nurse Practitioner hit a new low today. For your enjoyment, here is a reenactment of this marvelous clinical intervention:

NP: "So, how have you been feeling?"

Me: "Not great. Since my med change two months ago I've felt increasingly depressed. I'm not sleeping or eating well, but all I want to do is nap. I'm not functioning well at work. I'm tearful, have racing thoughts, and a lot of self blame. I'm not interested in doing many things and life seems sad and empty"

NP: "That is because you're only at 1 mg of (medication). I'm raising you to 2 mg and will see you in 6 weeks"

What's missing? Well, let's see: any sort of clinical assessment, suicide assessment , empathy, compassion, knowledge of the etiology of mental illness, and , above all, any interest in me as a person.

I hope the 1 mg increase is worth it.....

#medmanagement #whyaminotgettingbetter


I wrote this little thing...

My brain has global warming.
Seasonable temps, with gradual variations were the norm. Not to say there were no heat waves or cold snaps once in a blue moon. Expected natural and climatological events - goofy naughty El Nino, Alberta clippers. Manageable "disasters" featuring cheerful local newscasters with their cartoon graphics of snow amounts, and thermometers blowing their tops with red and Mr. Sun sporting Ray Bans and a Disney grin. Neighborhoods of Dougs and Jeffs wake at dawn, feining annoyance, filled with excitement to snowblow their whole block, decked out in their coveralls, with a head nod to everyone they see. Frosted beards and mustaches can't hide the little boy inside gleeful to play, forgetting the aches that follow that evening. Summer afternoons with youth groups on corners handing out bottled water excitedly to passersby. Radio DJs prattle on about heat indexes and blast Beach Boys tunes. Surfin U.S.A., as rednecks in t shirts and jeans forgo "suntan lotion" and sweat out 18 hour days of outdoor labor, rehydrating with cases of shitty beer, anything as long as it's cold. Their skin cancer comes sooner and more aggressively than the Old Man's did.

Now, record highs set 3-4 times a month, during both the dark Decembers and July's torrential downpours, fields quenched to decimation. April blizzards bury everything under a heavy white shroud. The wet snow snapping trees and powerlines, collapsing roofs of hog sheds, and other assorted horrors. Januarys bring unending weeks of deadly attempts of extinction. -30 degree air killing those who tempt fate with cigarette breaks. Scores of invisible homeless die forgotten deaths. Country folks headed to town cross themselves as their vehicles engine lights turn on halfway there, and those who overestimate how many miles E leaves. Cell phones save lives! Sometimes....

We all know what this is, and that we are powerless. Nature will have It's way. So, pretend it's noble to carry on, absurdly ignoring the irregularities becoming the norm? Cling to our already rose-hued memories of winter, spring, summer, fall, it's so lovely we have all! Hasten dementia! Christmas sales in July, Back-to-School sales in May, Easter baskets of sleds and beach toys -fuck it hedge your bets, right Bunny?

Can we admit it's all too much? Allow ourselves to mutter, "tis nobler to concede" to our imaginary audience, and exit stage left of this empty theater?

#Misdiagnosed #medmanagement #morethandepression #Thoughts