OCDthinking

I try and try and try
Straight lines
only one color
one thing stuck
like a stray kite
They call it "disorder"
I call it my kind of right
I know it's annoying
But it isn't a choice
you know, alright?

#OCDAwarenessWeek #OCDthinking

Hello. I’m new here. I have been diagnosed with OCD since I was 11. I’m now 29 and the thoughts come and go. The past two weeks, the thoughts have been a nightmare. I have been having bad intrusive thoughts and they scare me. I’ll cry and freak out. I’ll sometimes get imagines of what I’m thinking and question myself if it really happened? I know deep down I wouldn’t do any of these bad thoughts, but I wonder why I get them? Sometimes I feel like I am a bad person or a “crazy” person. I have never done anything bad in my life, but I’m always scared something bad will happen.

I took a few months off of work to focus on getting better, but it made the thoughts worse since it acts up when I’m not actively busy. I start a new job tomorrow and I’m scared of having these bad thoughts.

Please tell me I’m not alone with these intrusive thoughts. How do you manage them? Most of the time I just want to sleep. I hate getting up in the mornings because it’s like the thoughts start all over again. I just want to be my old self again. I started a new medication and I’m seeing a therapist. It’s just good to talk to people that are in the same boat as me. Thanks!

#IntrusiveThoughts #Anxiety #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder

I’m having a bad night. Started with intense obsessive and compulsive behavior that I couldn’t seem to calm the anxiety. Then started to have self harm urges. A lot of relapsed recently. And I have been fighting it. But really struggling. It’s more painful to wait to out then actually just cut. #CheckInWithMe #OCDthinking #Depression

OCD thinking intrusive thoughts... so much doubt I can’t stand it! The OCD/Anxiety trick me into believing it’s NOT OCD/Anxiety...I can’t trust my gut, brain, feelings... because they’re ALL LACED WITH DOUBT! It’s so evil and sneaky. It makes me doubt the OCD/Anxiety itself. Between books, blogs, meds, therapy and hypnosis...I’m trying! Plus my hormones (hypothyroidism and Nexplanon birth control in my arm) continue to exacerbate things... I just want to BE! I want to be present and in control, not moving from one distraction to another. Anyone feel me? Anyone been there? I’m here for you just as you are for me! We’re in this together! Let us take solace in each other and support one another! 💗💗💗 #RelationshipOCD #OCDthinking #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Anxiety #Hormones #Nexplanon #DoubtingMyself #Doubt #IntrusiveThoughts

I was driving yesterday and realized my entire existence went from a ball of anxiety as a child, to guilty, anxiety and anger as an adult. Why do I live this way? I have moments of clarity and realization about what’s going on. Then I have the rest of the day to fall back into my patterns. I am so sick of living this way. I have spent so many decades in an isolation world of mental illness instilled and reinforced by relationships of those who claim to love me. I guess they cannot help their own mental illness and do the best they can. But it is not fair. I feel like I might have had a fighting chance if given the opportunity. It may not ever be “too late”. But from a reality standpoint, it really is. I would like to compartmentalize my and ocd. To just live a life where I can see reality for what it is. Without a red veil of gloom casted upon it. I’ve waited and waited. I’ve worked on this for years. I’ve made break throughs, but this is beyond tiring. My mind can’t handle this. And my body is ready to give up. How do I deal with this? When in those moments of clarity all I can feel is peace and understanding. But then the monsters face resurfaces and shackles meback down. I’ll never be allowed to forget the imaginary burdens of my mind. I can say I’ll make the change today to be a different person, to be better. But no matter how hard I work, my brain is wired different. And no matter how much soul searching I do, this is . I’m miserable and I don’t know how to deal with this illness alone anymore. #MentalHealth #OCDthinking

So lately when my anxiety hits me I have this ominous feeling as though I’m going to die as if my time is coming up soon. When it’s not that I have to leave where ever I’m at expect for work and go to see my mom and brother because I get a feeling that they may die.

I lost my father at a very young age I was 10 and am now 31 and I know that plays a huge part.

I just thought I would share this . #Depression #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #OCDthinking

As a mother of a son with #OCD i have watched it slowly take my son away. I am watching him bravely fight some days a loosing battle. I praise him when he 'wins' and fights back. I cry when I see the struggle and the toll it takes on our family and his life. I feel helpless sometimes as I watch or try to help. I am depressed when I see a child I don't know who swears at me or is rude..so hard as a mother. I mourn the loss of the happy and easy going child he used to be. There is a slight light at the end of the tunnel and I hope we get there. I just want him to manage in life and feel somewhat happy again. I want the best for him always not this tortured battle daily I witness.#OCDAwarenessWeek #OCDthinking #livingwithocd

I can’t relax. I left work early today because I’m sick. I am not sure if this is my anxiety or not but I can’t seem to settle. I’ve just experienced three days worth of anxiety attacks and my system is beyond exhausted. However, I can’t relax. I can’t watch tv, read, do art, I cant sleep, I can’t go outside. All I do is sit and be on my phone. I WANT to put the phone down but can’t. It’s my security and I’m too anxious. My mind is constantly running, like a waterfall of thoughts. This happens a lot, daily. Anyone else experience this?