I am paralyzed between fear of doing things wrong, and not doing anything. I’m convinced either way I will be left alone. It’s a lose lose situation. I’m exhausted. I want you to see how hard I am trying, the ways I have made progress. Will you still want me if I can’t fit the design you wanted? If I fail, will you sit with me and tell me I will be okay? #Trauma #IFS #paralyzedwithfear
He stands idly
waiting in the corner
blending in perfectly
yet somehow...standing out the most
You squirm
unsure of the reason...But,
feel sound in your reaction.
As he stares
You look away quickly,
and attempt to think logically
until the shear curiosity
forces you to check
He's moved.
To a corner... much closer,
he continues to lurke and stare,
despite you being extremely aware
Unable to scream,
unable to move, you wait...
Holding your breath,
fingers trembling, and your mind
frantically reaching... grasping
for an answer.
He creeps closer,
every step seems to get longer,
and harder,
even the floor seems to tremble...
...
and then he's gone.
#Schizophrenia #Anxiety #AnxietyDisorders #Fear #paralyzedwithfear
Fear is paralysing
Fear is controlling
Fear is all around me
it's inside me
The trill of the phone
'we need to talk'
When will it stop
I want it to end
Due to my normal day to day depression and anxiety, I have gotten behind at work. This has literally skyrocketed my anxiety and at this point has me feeling paralyzed about moving forward in work. How do you push past this?
I've had three serious relationships in my life, all of which ended due to my own #behaviors of #insecurity , #isolating ,#exhaustion , that stem from my illness. I also do not #trustmyself to recognize a #goodpartner who will be kind and supportive. My #pastpartners ranged between #cool and #unsupportive to #verballyabusive . I was always drawn to partners with whom I felt like I needed to explain, justify or #improvemyself . I would really like to share my life with someone but feel #paralyzedwithfear of making another #badchoice so have lived #safelyalone for several years now.
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