Parenting Autism

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Pottying!

I really need some ideas on how to get my 6 yr old son to poop in the toilet! He goes pee in it just fine. He used to be constipated all the time. I figured that was the reason but now I have fixed that problem and still can’t get him to poop in the toilet! Please any help I’m grateful for! #Autism #AutismDiagnosis #AutismSociety #ParentingAutism

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Introduction

Hello, I just wanted to introduce myself and encourage other group members to do the same. My name is Courtney and I am a 40 year old mother to 3 children. My oldest daughter is 10 and has Autism and is non-verbal. I also have an 8 year old daughter and a 4 year old son. We live in Southwest Pennsylvania and I work full time as a field service manager in the human service field. I originally found this site when looking for resources for my own autoimmune conditions and was happy to see that it was a whole community with a variety of topics covered. #AutismAdvocacy #ParentingAutism

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What's Sleep #ParentingAutism #autismlifestyle #nosleep

Sometimes Autism sleeps, but most of the time it doesn't. When we become a new parent and struggle with the midnight feedings. We get up with the baby, knowing that this will last only about 4 months. Well, surprise! You're an autism parent! The only sleep you're getting is that of which you daydream about. Sometimes autism surprises you and you may get a quick 5 minute cat nap. The quick cat nap will never be a 5 minute power nap, it is for your autistic child. You might get a good nights sleep, after getting up for the 5th time. And, you've mastered sleeping on the edge of the bed. Oh, and we can't forget the hopes of sleeping in late. Because your autistic child only went to bed at 3:00am. Again, jokes on the autism parent! Oh, I'll sleep. When I'm dead! Then that leads to a whole other dilemma of being a parent to an autistic child. You think, I can't die! Who do I leave my autistic child to?! But, hey, that's another blog. #Autism

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When Water is Deafening

Tonight was bath night in our house. My three boys take turns going first in the shower on each of our bath nights, and tonight was Nico’s night to go last. Nico asked to go first, and it was agreed upon, but my 6-year old reminded me it was his turn. Trying to play fair for all involved, I told Nico he would not be going first. After a long day at school, Nico was pushed to the point of a meltdown at the news of his switch in order. He started banging loudly on the sink, biting his nails, his voice becoming elevated. When it was finally his turn in the shower, he tightly grabbed the bar in the shower and rocked, hard, back and forth. The forceful frustration fueling his rocking slowly gave way to a fascination in how the water ran down his arms, and the rocking continued. What started as a move to express frustration morphed into a move to instead soothe. Now, silence, just me and my son, and the water from the shower head.

This silence, it gripped me. It threw me. My son, 8-years old, tall for his age. Somehow, his Autism looked the same to me in that moment as it did when he was 2. I helped him wash his hair, thinking about how time on the spectrum seems to pass so slowly, and even though your child can grow by leaps and bounds, some days feel the same. These thoughts, they were deafening. I began to reflect on my place in all of this, feelings bubbling to the surface. In another 8 years, things will look different, and things will look the same. I sighed and look at Nico, who was now silent, still rocking. The water was turned off, and Nico, head down, stepped out of the shower. I wrapped him in a towel as he lay his head on my shoulder, coming down and finding comfort in me. I am his comfort. A loud silence, once again, bubbling truths all around me. I hugged him, and we carried on with our evening. The water from the shower-deafening. #Autism #AutismAwareness #ParentingAutism #ParentingSpecialNeeds #Parenting #SpecialNeeds

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Validated but Angry

#ParentingAutism . My 17 year old daughter this week was disgnosed as autistic. Having been through CAMHS 5 different times and they missed it!!!!(erm HOW?) Now because of her age they won't help her!!! I've felt for YEARS my child was wired differently. Yet most people didn't believe me and no professional took me seriously due to me having mental issues, I was treated like a hysterical lunatic putting my issues on my daughter, seeing things that aren't there. Even family members had tagged my daughter as an attention seeking spoilt brat when she was experiencing various difficulties. So now, we have a diagnosis but I feel so angry and let down my multiple people and agencies. My daughter deserves every ounce of credit for getting as far as she has with very little professional support.

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What are some things I can do as a parent to help my asd son? #ASD #Autism #ParentingAutism

I've worked as a paraeducator for autistic kids for many years, when my son started showing signs of autism I knew even when his school told me he was just a troubled kid. I still knew when they tried to convince me that he had severe ADHD. I took him to an outside specialist and sure enough, I was correct. When I told his school psychiatrist her answer was "He can't be autistic, he makes eye contact!" I realized then that living here in the south where mental health is a joke was going to be hard. Apparently this so-called professional thought that all autistic people act like rain man. I had to explain that it is a spectrum to her and even gave her some of my old textbooks. Then it was a fight with the administration to modify his iep for autism, not ADHD. However, even as a paraeducator it's very different to be the parent of an autistic child. What are some things that helped you or hurt you? How can I be there for him and communicate in a way that his glorious unique brain can understand?

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Because homeschool is a blast...

My grandson made this. With help, but the lesson mostly centered around focus and planning. Maybe a little problem solving... 😂 He finished it though, just as Mom walked in from work.
He's quite proud of himself, and was completely shocked and amazed when mother showed up with a little sewing machine. 😄

#Autism #ParentingAutism #ParentingSpecialNeeds #AttentiondeficithyperactivityDisorder #Depression #Anxiety #ArtTherapy

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"cold. it's just so cold" seasons are a changing.


#ParentingAutism

The last few days have been rough, the weather is getting colder and she is getting more and more stressed about it. Seasonal changes are super hard. it's a very helpless feeling to be at the wim of the weather. She has started refusing bathing again, because being wet means being cold. it is unbearable for her. I have to get into the shower with her and wash her down fast, then have the blow dryer & towel ready to warm blast the wet and cold away. but it's a squealing , begging, meltdown of a process. exhausting for both of us.

My sweet kiddo is on the higher end of the spectrum cognitively and socially. So I think sometimes I adjust to the idea that she is maturing and moving on from certain aversions, behaviors or patterns.... and then routine is upset somehow and it all comes flooding back and I am reminded of how hard she is working each day to feel comfortable, to feel safe, to understand her world and interact with others.

As we are snuggling to warm up after her shower today she tells me about how the gloves that keep her warmest are terrible at picking up things in play, but her good playing ones make her fingers hurt (from cold), how she misses the monkey bars and doesn't understand why the play structure has to be closed so long and how showers should be sonic like on star trek.

So many moments in the day to push through. The shower is just the straw that broke the camel's back.

soon we will have a winter routine, and things will start to feel more comfortable. but I hear you kiddo, when I win the lottery we can be snowbirds or find an island to share in the sun ❤

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Good Morning son

Thursday was a hard day. The darkness and exhausting thought of depression and worthlessness consumed me completely. It took every ounce of what I had to get up that morning. Every ounce to just move throughout the day. My body and mind had been exhausted the second my alarm went off. I anxiously awaited 10:00 pm so I could lay down and try again.
It’s 2:26 in the morning. I’ve been asleep almost 3 hours. My oldest son is now awake sitting on the couch making sweet humming noises as he rocks back forth to the music of Grease. My son is on the severe end of the spectrum and right now I totally blame the moon. I’m so exhausted and praying he goes back to sleep. It’s not going to happen and I’m okay with it. This 14 year old is my best friend and I’m his. I’m his safe spot and his comfort when he can’t understand why he’s awake and it’s still dark outside. When his anxiety is so high he can’t understand what’s going on. When his hands smack against his face and back of his head because he’s overwhelmed. And enjoy the loud screech’s coming out of his mouth because he’s loving this. So we’ll watch some VHS tapes, snack and just enjoy our time in the dark with the glare of the TV.
I’m so exhausted, but for him I’ll deal with it and anxiously wait for a nap. I hope anyway.
#ParentingAutism
#Depression
#Autism
#Anxiety