Parkisons

I was diagnosed with early onset Parkinson's disease this year. It felt like it literally came out of nowhere. Or rather I've not been well on and off for years but had doctors misdiagnosing me and a few advising me it was a mental health problem. I knew something was wrong but never thought anyone would sort it out. I wouldn't have bet on PD. After my diagnosis, I set out on a whirlwind of discovery. I'm like most people- I knew this disease in a limited way through Michael J Fox, Mohamed Ali, and older men like my friend’s father. Suffice to say- I was ignorant. And after I had overindulged my curiosity- I felt panicked and frightened. I found myself commiserating online with fellow PD suffers and slowly going down the rabbit hole of despair. And then I stopped. I stepped back. I heard a doctor refer to this period of Parkinson's as the honeymoon stage because the disease hasn't really affected the person. I hated that description. Yes- she treats PD patients and it gives her some liberty in discussing our experience. But make no mistake- this is not a honeymoon. It has taken me months now to think of how I would describe it. I have concluded it's an interlude. It's the time when I take a break from telling myself I am sick or feel free to escape in all sorts of ways. I may escape for a time by spending time in places I love or through books or music or friends. I may escape by telling myself little thoughts of encouragement such as it won't be as bad as people say or that particular symptom may not happen to me... Because at the end of the day- my interlude is the same as everyone else. I just have a bit more lead time on my diagnosis. So one day- one hour- one minute at a time and all the permission in the world to live in the interlude between sickness and health because that is all I ever had to begin with- I just didn't know it like I do now. #Parkisons   #ChronicIllness #a