ReasonToLive

Emily is my world. I get anxious and sad when I think about her not being here

#ReasonToLive #Depression
I can’t find any reasons today
Give me inspirations pleaaase

His smile

My two beautiful baby cousins just born this year and last year.

The sky was pretty today

Hey there everyone, I am a 23 year old guy living with my parents we are a family of 4 people my mom and dad, me and my little sister
I came here to share my story coz I have no one to talk to no one to count on when I need support at the most appropriate time
Now my life has been a mess since the day I was born, my father never loved or wanted to marry my mom and I don't know why they got married
Still they got married and are married for 25 years
My mom has always been abusive to me physicaly (beating me) and emotionally (abusing physicaly and emotionally both in front of anyone stranger or relative doesn't matter)
She used to get stress from what people would say about her my father and me and all of that frustration would get realese on me
When I was small there were both abuse but now i have grown up emotional abuse is still going on
I am so afraid and so dependent on them that even if I want to leave this environment still I can't and I have a panic attack problem that makes me more scare to leave and I don't have any educational support, no talent, no one who could help me that makes me stick with them forever my father never cared about me he was enjoying his life with his affairs and own stuff and I had no option but to spend most of my time with my abusive mom and now my father needs me because he has diabetics and he needs me to help him with his problem he too was abusive all the time with cursing words and thing no parents should say to their children
I have tried to contact my relatives for help but I just got sympathy and no help
When I was in high school I was accuse for false charge that I touch girls on in appropriate places after that incident I am in so fear that I usually stay away from girls and other girls too started treating me like I did that and I would do that to them too those last three years were like hell to me no one wanted to be my friend or talk to me.
Now after high-school there came a girl in my life I started to develop some feelings for her it was all one sided love
I have confessed my feelings for her to her but I was frindzoned
I gave almost everything to be with her be her love and in the end she left me
Now Its so lonely feels like space silence inside me
And everyday as soon as I wake up there's an verbal abuse from my mom insulting things
I am working with my dad in his general store
My mom wants me to steal money and bring and give her if I want to eat food cooked by her its been 2 days now I haven't ate anything at home
I always felt like dying I don't have that much courage to attempt suicide I just want one day I'll go to sleep and never wake up I don't feel like coming home everyday but I have no other place to go
I can't talk with anyone about all of this because it has created a problem for me before and now I know it's gonna create more problems
I had no medical help till now
No one to love or someone who loves me
And there's no reason to live now just praying not to wake up someday.

it can be something really small, or something big, it doesn't matter.
#ReasonToLive #Suicide

I know how hard life can be, so what keeps you alive. It can be big, or small. Sometimes it's the smallest things that keep us going
#ReasonToLive