slaa

Title is a bit different from what I’m talking about. But my higher power keeps me grounded through stressful situations.
My boyfriend is freaking out on me and super in his head about me cheating on him which I’m not. If I don’t respond he freaks the fuck out. I am starting to work the program of SLAA (sex & love addicts anon.) but I feel as though I keep relapsing on my boyfriend and just need some space.
He literally came to my house and hit the cigarette out of my hand at me. He gets so angery and called me 100x and showed up with no notice. I’ve had a migraine all day and trying to sleep it off but he thinks I’m talking to someone bc he has ptsd from the past,
I get it but you can’t just explode and cuss me out for what I’m doing. I did nothing wrong!!!!
I felt super anxious so I talked to some friends and then heard that my newest closest friend I have has been talking trash about me to this guy I fuckdd. She’s like flirting with him which idc if she gets with him or whatever but don’t tell me bad things about me wtf.
Why are girls so fucking fake these days. I guess I used to be to some people but Jesus I need older friends.

Anyways my program and higher power have been a blessing in this whole mess bc with out them I would probably be cutting myself or drinking the pain away.
Instead I made an amends to target which I have been meaning to do but putting off. So that got me out of my head and felt good. I also got a hair clip and cute simple white t shirt!
Also I heard a friend of mine died from an overdose and it just hit me a few minutes ago and I felt super sad because I always sat by him at the meetings and talked to him. He was funny but got kicked out for not working his program.

So yeah that about it for now, sorry for word vomiting my entire life but I just had to write it out and get it out of my head.

I hope everyone on here is having a better day than me. I’m going to hot yoga later though which should be good!! #anxious #BPD #slaa

I was sitting at work being fairly productive considering the amount of mental energy I had, along with my printer being a stupid piece of crap...all the sudden I get hijacked and start thinking about how I know a guy who lives like 10 minutes away and I could go over before going to my next job. I sexualize any empty space! Why?! #sexandloveaddict #slaa #impulsive #Addiction

Someone told me once that withdrawal and recovery from sex and love addiction is worse than heroin. She had both in her life, and said this was way harder. We can put down a bottle, drug, slot machine...we cannot leave relationships (obviously we can leave specific ones) but we need people, we need connection. The way we relate is so fucked up though. That is the problem. Trying to rewrite something is way harder than just doing it right from the beginning. Of course we all wish this was how things were. This shit is real though, I feel it in my body. The body aches, nausea, exhaustion, irritability...it’s real. Some days I feel like I’m dying. I feel very alone in this often because it doesn’t get talked about. My name is Sarah, I am a sex love and fantasy addict. Today I am 5 days sober. #slaa #withdrawal #Sobriety #Recovery

#Addiction #Tellmeimnotalone #slaa #sexandloveaddiction

I started attending SLAA meetings (sex and love addicts anonymous) 8 months ago after I almost destroyed my life. It's been a hard, fucking hard road to get where I am. I was talking with a friend today about how we never hear from women about the sex addiction side of SLAA...I never share about it because I am so ashamed, I feel dirty and wrong. How much would I bet that others feel the same? I checked this out because the mighty has everything on it, and surprisingly nothing came up. So, here goes nothing. #sexandloveaddicts   #slaa #bpdandsober #BPD #Sobriety