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Please remember not everyone can do conviental holiday self-care
Some people are bedbound.
Some people's illnesses exercise can make them worse NOT BETTER (yes, this can include yoga).
Some people's illnesses they can't do the conviental self-care methods society has said is "good for you" and basically is the "cure all." A lot of us hear this and have to just grin and bare it when someone tells us to just "go for a walk you'll feel better" or "go do some yoga". Some of us can barely walk to our bathroom or we get sicker when walking around.
Some of us, and I know this is shocking, diet won't help. A lot have tried and it didn't help.
If you know someone with chronic illness this holiday, don't push all these conventual self-care methods on them. Instead listen when they tell you that exercise is bad for them and cause them to flare-up. Listen to the person who knows their body better then you ever would.
Crafts can help me on the days I can't move well but want to accomplish something. If I want to write? I dim my laptop screen and sit in bed and do it. I use my switch in bed. I use audibooks when its hard to read traditionally. The reality is though? Some days this is all too taxing and it is a hard reality to accept. That my favorite activities' are too much.
If you have a friend that this has happened to? We need acceptance and understanding. Someone to listen to us, give us a small hug if we want it (always ask cause even this can be painful, it can also be triggering to some). Ask if there's anything we want to do but maybe also ask if we have the energy (spoons as its called in the community). We need a lot of help, especially around this time of year. We grieve our bodies who have turned on us. Some are grieving family members who passed and it makes our symptoms. Some deal with depression then SAD (Seasonal Affective Depression) on top of it this time of year and yes it makes it worse. I personally never ask for help and feel ashamed to use motorized scooters, a walker, etc. cause I am not that old and my illness is invisible.
So ask what you can do and if they don't know? (Hint: I usually never do) Don't get frustrated with us please when this happens, I honestly feel rather dumb and worthless when even I don't know how to help me. I have so much brain fog usually and pain and overwhelm, I don't know what would help either and what does usually help, sometimes makes me worse. Please be patient if you know someone like this because honestly I wouldn't wish this on my own worst enemy. The person who feels this? They probably feel alone, helpless, scared, worthless, dumb, etc. I know I do. I know a lot of this isn't true but when your pain is extremely high going triple digits and your depression and grief and everything is worse? Trust me its hell.
Be patient. Be kind. Respect boundaries. If you think they know you care? Still say it. In your deepest, darkest, moments and add horrible social cues, you honestly don't realize people actually care.
#MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #Fibromyalgia #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #seasonalaffectivedisor #CPTSD #Grief #Trauma #Anxiety #Depression #survivingtheholidays #ChronicPain #Migraine
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