holidayssuck

Whether its stress, overwhelm, anxiety, depression, loneliness, seeing toxic family members- the holidays can be a hard time for so many. If you struggle during the holidays, check out my latest blog on tips that can help you to get through the holidays unscathed.

Tips on How to Survive the Holiday Season - AccordingtoDes

#Anxiety #Depression #Anxietyanddepression #theholidayseason #bahumbug #survivingtheholidays #HolidaysAreHard #holidayssuck

This Thanksgiving sucks. Normally it’s my whole immediate family getting together all day. Well this year, my fiancé, whom I live with, has tested positive for Covid earlier this week. I am luck, so far, in that the tests are coming back negative. I still feel like my body is fighting something but they’re running tests as I MIGHT have a blood infection due to my port. So yeah, if this year could just hurry up and be over that’d be great! I just want some hugs and cuddles and that’s a big no from anyone right now. Anyways, thank you for letting me vent! #Vent #ventsession #Thanksgiving #holidayssuck #ChronicDepression #ChronicIllness #

I have always hated thanksgiving. as I grew up we where very poor and had little amount of food. we had the government boxed food and little else. we received free lunch at school, so on those days we could have at least lunch and either a breakfast or dinner. but never all 3. Then on Thanksgiving if we where invited to family’s house. They would have all this food on the table for 1 meal. it was unbelievable for me to see. of course I would eat. but I was always self conscious that I would eat to much and be punished., because it wasn’t our food. Then as I got older I realized that the food on the table for Thanksgiving could feed our family of 3 for weeks. but we where never offered left overs. we where just thankful for the food. now as an adult I don’t believe in making so much food that it would go to waste. when I know there are kids like I was out there without food or with little food.
my depression goes off the charts at holiday seasons.
I always want to make everyone happy. but I can’t find my own happiness anymore.

Tonight was the first time I entertained the thought of suicide. Before, all I’ve ever wished was to become nothingness, simply erase my existence and any memory of me. Tonight, I seriously thought about it and it was so alarming. I never thought I had it in me.

I have no intentions of carrying it out and I’ll make it through this night. But against all logic my illness is telling me that I’m a waste of space and a burden to all.

P.S. I f***ing hate the holidays.

#Suicide #holidayssuck