We are in the midst of the holiday season. For some that means joy, cheer, excitement, and family time. For others it means stress, overwhelm, emotional distress, toxic family members, anxiety, loneliness, depression...
If you are someone that struggles during the holiday season, know that you aren't alone. The holidays can be an incredibly difficult time. Preparing yourself ahead of time can help. One way to do this is coming up with techniques, skills, and resources in advance. I like to call this, Your Holiday Survival Toolkit. Read my latest blog to learn what a Holiday Survival Toolkit is, why you need one, and how you can create your own.
Have wanted to share this for days now but I’ve struggled to find the words. 🤔📝Christmas… it’s supposed to be the “most wonderful time of the year”, the “season to be jolly”, and the “hap-happiest season of all”, but it doesn’t always feel that way.
As a kid, for me, Christmas was always a big deal in my family, it was a busy, happy, excitable, almost magical, time of year. Even as a young adult in my twenties, Christmas was still an amazing time of year. In recent years though, the magic, excitement, and wonder, of the Christmas season seems to have faded and been replaced with sorrow, grief, and heartache. 😔 My mum always made sure that Christmas and New Year were fun, enjoyable, occasions that people looked forward to with excitement every year. Sadly, 6 years ago, not long after my 31st birthday, my mum passed away, and since then Christmas hasn’t been the same… nothing has been the same… 💔 My heart aches for her every day, and then Christmas time comes round and it makes my heart ache even more. I try to get into the excitement of Christmas and New Year because she told me that she wanted me to “get on with [my] life and enjoy [yourself] again”. And I try, I really try, especially at Christmas and New Year, but I still feel that overwhelming loss, which makes it difficult to enjoy this time of year the way that she would want me to. This, in turn, makes me feel like a failure, like I am letting her down, like I am failing to fulfil her dying wish. 😔 Then I feel bad that I am not as excited and eggar about celebrating Christmas and New Year than everyone else seems to be. I worry about sharing how low I am really feeling, and how difficult I find the holidays, because I don’t want to ruin anyone else’s mood.
I know that lots of people find the holidays difficult, for so many reasons, and that I’m not the only one feeling the way I do at this time of year, I just don’t really know who to turn to for support and advice. That’s when I remembered that there is one community that would understand, a place where people can relate to you, where people are offered support, encouragement, and compassion, instead of judgment and criticism - the amazing community of my fellow Mighties. #Grief #CheckInWithMe #MightyTogether #MentalHealth #Depression #ChronicDepression #Anxiety #Parentloss #Heartache #Christmas #ChristmasHeartache #holidaydepression
Since my oh so big back surgery in November I’m having a difficult recovery and find myself getting depressed like I haven’t been in years! I’m hoping it’s just delayed grieving for my husband who passed in January. I can’t even bring myself to decorate my tree! Just don’t want to do it!#holidaydepression
Along with many people, the Holidays are difficult for me. It seems like no matter what your actual job is, everyone’s second job during December is to be filled with Holiday Cheer™, and those who fail earn rebukes from those around them. In some ways, I think this year looks to be a little easier than in years past, primarily due to the fact that everyone is at least a little depressed due to the Pandemic. So for some that means feeling allowed to let it show this year, instead of pasting on a fake smile and drowning in tinsel. But for others, who may be experiencing true depression for the first time, they may overcompensate by exploding with Festival Merriment™ and expecting others to do the same. So here is my gift to you, though we have never met. I am giving you permission to be sad.
#holidaydepression #holidaze #Depression #Bipolar #BipolarDepression #Holidays #itsokaynottobeokay
I’m a product of a broken family unit.
In all my years of just surviving - the emotional neglect, the instability, etc ... I coped by disassociating.
I’m 34 this year. The pain from having virtually no relationships with anyone in my family has started to emerge and I feel like I’m grieving that loss for the first time. It feels silly when I think about my age and that I’m adult with a husband and children. But the sadness is so real.
None of it is my fault. Although I have intentionally not spoken to my mother in over a year after some horrible things. I cannot trust her and she is no longer a safe person for me. Really she never was. But that particular situation solidified it.
I’m so thankful for my little family and my wonderful in-laws. But that thankfulness stings as a reminder and even brings me to tears writing this.
There’s a hole where there should have been a ‘good enough’ family/childhood.
It helps motivate me to be all of the things my inner child needed and more to my own children.
Acknowledge your feelings.
Process them and give them the space that’s due.
I’m really trying to do all of that and live in the present - it’s quite the challenge.