Just looking to swap some feelings or stories and fire up those different perspectives.
Trying so hard, but everything in life feeling so desperately elusive.
Anyone else up hopelessly toggling between denial and depression? #Jobloss #Fear #toomuch #Pain #hopelessness #whoami #BPD #panic #WhenThingsGoWrong #takingresponsibility #HeavyHeart
With chronic Lyme turned autoimmune, it’s proven that positivity will strengthen your immune system. So what about when it’s attacking your healthy tissues? Strengthening it hurts, badly; it causes severe flare-ups! There is such a thing as toxic positivity. I tried it and felt more shame snd guilt when it made me worse!
So, I took ownership, the blame, I got bit. I didn’t wear bug spray that fateful day. I ruined my life. Also, if I’d had any self-compassion, I’d have killed myself years ago. So, instead, I say “F that! You did this. You’re not putting your pain on others! You did this. So stay and suffer!” Then I go to the gym & hurt myself even worse.
Maybe it’s a strange immuno-suppressing, dark self-love really? I don’t know! I’m not all better, but I’m ripped! Lol #LymeDisease #Depression #self -hatred #autoimmunity #self -awareness #takingresponsibility #embracethepain #carnivorediet #starvingoutpathogens
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