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#Trauma Anniversaries

24 years ago today, my grandfather killed himself rather than face me in court for what he had done.

He took the cowards way out, leaving me to pick up the pieces.

No justice, no closure.

It’s not okay, but I will be, eventually. Just not today.

Today I’ll take some space for my emotions, tomorrow I’ll get back to the grind.

#PTSDawareness #PTSDWarrior #Traumaawareness #TraumaRecovery #Suicide #ChildhoodSexualAbuse #csasurvivor #CPTSD #MentalHealth #Healing #Awareness

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A Young Girl Speaks

I took a deep breathe and tried to calm my twelve year old nerves.

I walked through the doorway into the living room, he was sitting in his recliner to my left. I turned to him, my hands nervously grabbing at my clothes, my shoulders slumped, and my eyes turned down.

“I was talking to someone at school” I began, “and they told me what we do isn’t right. I don’t want to do that stuff anymore.”

He looked at me. I wonder, had he been younger and more able, if I’d have been released from his grip so easily. Maybe it was his fear of what I was saying at school.

“Okay” he replied, monotone and emotionless.

That’s all he said, but I remember thinking, it’s over, he was going to stop. Still, there was no real relief.

So I turned and went back outside to play, and left my grandpa sitting in his recliner in the living room.

#Memories #processing #mystory #csasurvivor #ChildhoodAbuse
#PTSD #PTSDawareness #Trauma #Traumaawareness #writingtoheal #PTSDWarrior #courage #Survivingchildhoodtrauma #ChildhoodSexualAbuse

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