childhood abuse

I've come to realize that both of my parents have narcissistic tendencies, but they're intertwined with their views about religion and the Bible. For instance, I was told repeatedly in my life "Is this the person you want to be? Do you think this is how God wants you to be?" followed by a lecture usually involving scripture and prayer. I'm finally standing up for myself more, which can sometimes turn into a meltdown because my parents do not try to hear me out and I get frustrated. My dad tried to teach me to be unconditionally respectful of everyone my whole life but that's just not for me. Im not gonna respect you if you bully and tease me. Unfortunately, I have to live at home currently at 25 years old because Im in school and can't afford to move out any time soon. Any advice on how to stand up for myself while still respecting that my parents are letting me live here? #CheckInWithMe #ChildhoodAbuse #PTSD #CPTSD #ADHD

Just received a photo of myself at 8 years of age and it has triggered an immense amount of pain and heartache and regret. Why do I feel responsible for my 8 year old self? I was sexually abused from such an early age that as far as I member I was probably a toddler. I know it peaked at 8 when my parents split and my single mother’s only choice was to move in with the family members whose head was the predator. I was so young and the target of a running joke as everyone called me the crying baby. I used to cry all the time, I had to endure the abuse and the terrifying fear of this man coming at any moment to abuse me. I guess I have told myself all this years that I was ok but I’m not. I’m angry, he passed away last year at a very old age and I’m still angry and hurting. I need to heal…. I don’t know what to do #ChildhoodAbuse

Hi. My name is bbhr and I joined because I want to heal childhood trauma and learn how to overcome stigma. I want to get better at talking about what happened and the emotions I have about it. I want to be better equipped emotionally to deal with people and the things they say and do. Specifically family members. I want to handle my Chrons better. Right now I'm on Apriso and I'm not a fan of it. I don't take it like I should because I don't like being on meds.

Tw: bingeing ?

I just binge ate again. My stomach hurts because it is so full. I have started a new no added/artificial sugar and low carb lifestyle. I don’t consider it a diet because it is something permanent and not a fad or intended for weight loss. Diabetes runs in my family and I have a really bad sugar addiction. I consume candy and sweets in such excess and until I make myself sick. I am doing low carb because carbs turn into sugar in the body. It’s been almost a week and I still crave some kinds of sugar but mostly bread.

Anyways, I think I binge ate because one: I stayed up too late. That’s a MAJOR trigger. I could largely avoid my binge eating if I would just go tf to sleep sooner. The problem with that is I am a huge night owl and it feels like my only true alone time for some reason even though I have all day to myself lately. Idk. It’s complicated. But anyways the second trigger I think may be stress from well work but also from my mom.

My mother decided to randomly tell me at dinner (at a public restaurant in front of family) that I’m just “not very creative, I don’t like strive to be creative and do creative things…like I (my mom) do”. This is not uncommon behavior for her. She often just insults me for not reason at all and it is seemingly random, although I’m sure it is not. I mean who the fuck says that shit to their kid?

And besides it’s not even kind of true. I literally sing and play ukulele and a bit of piano. I can draw. And I do pointillism really well. I just have no motivation to do these things due to stress, depression, and ADHD. And like, she never does anything creative so i dont know what tf she is talking about. She is always comparing us. It is always a competition. I wonder if she is histrionic sometimes.

She also got drunk at the restaurant and walked around the grocery store drunk. This was a huge stressor for me. I hate being around her like that.

#PTSD #ChildhoodAbuse #BingeEatingDisorder #EatingDisorders #MentalHealth

Tw: bingeing ?

I just binge ate again. My stomach hurts because it is so full. I have started a new no added/artificial sugar and low carb lifestyle. I don’t consider it a diet because it is something permanent and not a fad or intended for weight loss. Diabetes runs in my family and I have a really bad sugar addiction. I consume candy and sweets in such excess and until I make myself sick. I am doing low carb because carbs turn into sugar in the body. It’s been almost a week and I still crave some kinds of sugar but mostly bread.

Anyways, I think I binge ate because one: I stayed up too late. That’s a MAJOR trigger. I could largely avoid my binge eating if I would just go tf to sleep sooner. The problem with that is I am a huge night owl and it feels like my only true alone time for some reason even though I have all day to myself lately. Idk. It’s complicated. But anyways the second trigger I think may be stress from well work but also from my mom.

My mother decided to randomly tell me at dinner (at a public restaurant in front of family) that I’m just “not very creative, I don’t like strive to be creative and do creative things…like I (my mom) do”. This is not uncommon behavior for her. She often just insults me for not reason at all and it is seemingly random, although I’m sure it is not. I mean who the fuck says that shit to their kid?

And besides it’s not even kind of true. I literally sing and play ukulele and a bit of piano. I can draw. And I do pointillism really well. I just have no motivation to do these things due to stress, depression, and ADHD. And like, she never does anything creative so i dont know what tf she is talking about. She is always comparing us. It is always a competition. I wonder if she is histrionic sometimes.

She also got drunk at the restaurant and walked around the grocery store drunk. This was a huge stressor for me. I hate being around her like that.

#PTSD #ChildhoodAbuse #BingeEatingDisorder #EatingDisorders #MentalHealth

Hi I’m new here. I’d like to chat and make new friends. #PTSD #AbuseSurvivors #ChildhoodAbuse #DissociativeIdentityDisorder #SexualAbuseSurvivors #MultipleSclerosis

I am exhausted by the back and forth I have been doing between my parents. I cannot determine whether my mother is a narcissist and a matyr or if my father is a total fucking sociopath.

My parents both have totally different perspectives on each other. My mother tells such hideous and disturbing stories of abuse from my father. My father has rarely ever painted my mother in a negative light. He occasionally will say things like, “your mother is a bit self absorbed, and that’s okay, that’s just how she is” for example. But that’s as far as he goes.

He was certainly abusive to me growing up. But we have a really good relationship now. I still don’t know whether to trust him. He seems genuine and consistent with his actions. He makes an effort to spend quality
Time with me and my mother really does not. My father has always been a considerate person and plenty of times would take my side in arguments with my mom.

My mother is selfish in that she often does not think of others and makes decisions that damage others and literally does not comprehend why that’s wrong. For example taking multiple credit cards out with me as an authorized user and having lots of debt on them and not paying them regularly and ruining my credit. My credit score was once about 540. I am still building it back up.

I don’t know who to believe or trust and the idea of not being able to trust either is frankly to hard for my to accept. But I think that’s the reality.

#PTSD #CPTSD #MentalHealth #Trauma #ChildhoodAbuse #ChildhoodTraumaSurvivors

YES.

Narcissists tell on themselves all the time.

If you listen closely.

All the things they tell you during lovebombing, all the things they promise you they won't ever do to you, and all the promises they make about the future.

Are the EXACT opposite of what's going to happen.

All the things they judge people for, and all the things they tell you that people have done to them, all the behavior they tell you their exes are guilty of.

Are the EXACT things, that they themselves do.

All the little “warnings” they give you, that refer to dealing with them, such as “My ex did this n that, I dumped them, without an ounce of remorse”, “It takes a lot for me to start loving anyone”, or “I can be ruthless and mean, if you cross me”.

No matter what sentence follows those statements, like “But I would never do that to you”, or “But with you it feels different”, understand that those are true assertions about themselves. They count for any relationship, with anyone.

Yes, narcissists tell you everything about themselves,

They just do it in reverse.

(Source: www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-tell-on-themselves-if-you-listen)

#narcissists #gaslight narcisstic abuse survivor #Abuse #EmotionalAbuse #Abuse #AbuseSurvivors #DomesticAbuse #DomesticAbuseSurvivors #DomesticViolence #ChildhoodAbuse