I’m a narcissist magnet
Now that I am setting more boundaries I am very disappointed, in myself, with the large amount of narcissistic people I have in my life. I used to get depressed thinking I had no value unless I am being used. Now I am mad because I know now I was abused. I got so messed up in my head growing up as a kid and all my trauma has carried over into adulthood. I decided to advocate for myself to receive proper treatment plans, medication, and nutrition. I did not want to live the rest of my life anxious and depressed and after much trial and error, I finally found a doctor who I felt safe speaking through my trauma. What has been so upsetting to me is the people in my life, family and friends, are really voicing negative opinions about my new found clarity. Saying no has been the hardest thing for me to say to people I love, but when my life got really hard I sat in my room and cried by myself. I never once called out for help to my “friends and family “. The mean and hurtful words that I have heard at first made me regret wanting to help myself. To finally get myself to the point where I could make the correct decision to seek help 1 triggering word could cause me to doubt my strength. I raised myself. I go to work even when I can barely get out of bed. I made sure I got my high school diploma. I bought my own cars, clothes and housing since I was 16. I’m mostly proud of is I didn’t make someone feel bad because I know how that feels. Sorry for venting on here but I don’t want to talk to anyone because all they are doing is taking notes on what not to do where others have failed. Now that I have got that off my mind I hopefully can get to sleep. Thank you for reading. #Anxiety #Trichotillomania #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #AspergersSyndrome #ChildhoodTraumaSurvivors