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I seek peace and when l find it .... l destroy it ...#what 's wrong with me

I need to get up out of my seat. I became too hot with the heating pad inside I’m not going to stay here. I have been sober 35 years, clean of Oxycodone two years, now at the lowest level of opeats in 10 years. I have Ankle Spodylitis and bipolar one and depression and these conditions require I take medication for pain, bipolar disorder and depression. Since I am older I have lots of meditations, I think a good doctor to help with management for me is essential. I also ask my wife her opinion, trying not to judge her. This is difficult, and finally I hold my tongue realizing my heart is not so much pain as rest so at night I can. Tomorrow is the first time I have been there I have been on my own for more than 3 hours. This since I got terribly ill 9 months ago. My best friend a retired nurse urgently told me to get to the ER and there a CT with contrast revealing a life threatening AVM. On October 29th at 9 a.m. the tumor was taken out saving my life and perhaps allowing me another 10 or 15 years with my family and friends. I am not completely sure how I am. I find out if the operation was such tomorrow at 1:00 p.m. I have another CT with contrast to see if the surgery is 100% successful. There is no half way or even one molecule of removal left behind. This tumor can come back. I won’t know until I meet with my surgeon if this dangerous surgery is successful. I have been having anxiety since before my surgery, and in the last few weeks my psychiatrist has checked me twice, and in two weeks another visit with my therapist, my primary there for me. The entire medical team watching me. I have the CT tomorrow nothing more can be done. Thank you for being there.

#what is the weather forecast for your area? We have a chance for some rain 🌧.

Please let me know, what kind of spiritual support do you need. For example: Prayer,ect.

Please comment below, and I will do my best to help you, and if I cannot help you, then I will say so, but I will try my best to get you the right kind of support.

Please note, I am not perfect, so please make note of that.

But I try my best to help, when I can.

#I have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia for a long time but in the last 3 years I have had continuous flare ups. They are so so painfull and the burning down my arms into my hands. Down my legs into my feet. I'm constantly having ms spasms. I can't stand certain noises or smells. My mood is up and down. My stomach hurts all the time. I'm either sweating or freezing I can't get my body temperature regulated. Someday I can't even get out of bed. I also have hemapalegic migraines diabetes mood disorder depression and anxiety. I'm bipolar. Sometimes I don't even know if I can make it 5 more minutes. My family doesn't understand. They think I can just snap out of it. God I wish I could. # pray for me

Hello guys need your help... Am battling depression and anxiety. Lately I have been feeling suicidal but I don't want to coz I have a little girl who's depending on me. I come from a disfunctional home and recently learned that my dad(whom we don't see eye to eye) is not my biological dad and that has really messed me up. I want to leave but I don't know what to do because I don't have the financial means to take my daughter with me am thinking of leaving her with my mom who adores her but I also feel guilty. God knows I love my little girl with everything in me I just don't know what to do.... Please advise

Cerebral Palsy has taught me many things over the years as a mater of fact I truly believe Cerebral Palsy has not only made me a better person but it also made me have a better understanding of Cerebral Palsy. Tomorrow I will be gong to a doctors appointment with DR DAVID FEINGOLD to see how my Cerebral Palsy and Spastic Dysplasia is progressing. Im kind of nervous about it because you never know what the test show.I know in my heart of hearts that everything will be fine. I truly never felt better. DR DAVID FEINGOLD has truly given me my life back.I really believe that I'm going to come out of that appointment with all good things being said because DR FEINGOLD really believes in me and I know that he will do anything and everything for me. DR FEINGOLD truly is one and a million. I owe him a lifetime of thank you . With that being said I know I got this and I will think all good things from here on out.

#CerebralPalsy

What do you do when “life” won’t stop? I don’t mean the end of life or when your heart is no longer beating. I don’t mean when your vital organs no longer function, and your soul leaves this earth. I mean “life”. Everything. It just won’t stop. It keeps getting deeper and deeper and more and more. How do you readjust your sail? God holds every teardrop. God hears every prayer. God allows “life” to happen. Do you ask yourself why? Do you ask yourself when? What brings you joy? Do you find yourself more comfortable now behind “the covid mask”? Hiding? From people? From “life”? It’s like a handmade snowball, starts rolling down a mountain, slowly, rolling and creating a larger, bigger, enormous ball of snow, and the mountain never ends. You cannot see the bottom of the mountain, it’s not there. But eventually this snowball is “life”. Where is the sunshine? Where is the warmth? When will it go away? What must we do to get the snowball of “life” to stop rolling and getting bigger? When will the winds shift? When will the sea open? When do you readjust your sail? When does the snowball turn into the sea?