#what I need right now
I need to get up out of my seat. I became too hot with the heating pad inside I’m not going to stay here. I have been sober 35 years, clean of Oxycodone two years, now at the lowest level of opeats in 10 years. I have Ankle Spodylitis and bipolar one and depression and these conditions require I take medication for pain, bipolar disorder and depression. Since I am older I have lots of meditations, I think a good doctor to help with management for me is essential. I also ask my wife her opinion, trying not to judge her. This is difficult, and finally I hold my tongue realizing my heart is not so much pain as rest so at night I can. Tomorrow is the first time I have been there I have been on my own for more than 3 hours. This since I got terribly ill 9 months ago. My best friend a retired nurse urgently told me to get to the ER and there a CT with contrast revealing a life threatening AVM. On October 29th at 9 a.m. the tumor was taken out saving my life and perhaps allowing me another 10 or 15 years with my family and friends. I am not completely sure how I am. I find out if the operation was such tomorrow at 1:00 p.m. I have another CT with contrast to see if the surgery is 100% successful. There is no half way or even one molecule of removal left behind. This tumor can come back. I won’t know until I meet with my surgeon if this dangerous surgery is successful. I have been having anxiety since before my surgery, and in the last few weeks my psychiatrist has checked me twice, and in two weeks another visit with my therapist, my primary there for me. The entire medical team watching me. I have the CT tomorrow nothing more can be done. Thank you for being there.