Cancer

Today has been 6 years since I lost my mom to cancer. As years pass it doesn’t get any easier. Just harder. Not as day goes by where I don’t think about her. She was my everything. My best friend. She took care of me until we found out she was sick. Her last words to me was I love you too. Have a good day #Grief #CheckInWithMe

I was in an arena that resembled a high school gym, but in a wooded area outside; everything was made of trees and tree branches. The place was a village that housed a religious cult, and I mansplained to a young woman with a long, ash blonde braid down her back how cults abused their members. It wasn’t until later that I understood that she knew that very well. Then I walked down a river bed to a biker rally where I got mixed up in an organized crime ring led by Anthony Michael Hall. Hall played a bully on the sitcom Community, and he appeared as that character in the dream. My refusal to participate in Hall’s scheme resulted in my father and brother appearing tied to a motorcycle. My father had been beaten and my brother appeared as he did just before he died from cancer two years ago. When I woke up the first time, I was choking the living shit out of Anthony Michael Hall.

Upon falling back to sleep, I found myself in my old high school. I sometimes have recurring dreams that the administrative offices are tucked into a small corner of the northwestern part of the building. (The actual admin office is much larger and across from the southeastern entrance.) The offices in the dream resemble the dungeon row doors of the psychology service at the local VA hospital. The principal’s office was labeled, but I could not find her. I went back out into the lobby and saw her. I did not speak to her. I needed help, but knew that she would not help me. She looked like the woman who represented my district in Congress years ago. In real life, I wrote to her about some issue and she never replied. Also, in real life, she can’t be more than four years older than me, so her appearing in a dream as my principal is kind of a neat trick. The meaning isn’t hard to discern. I was harmed by educators more than I was helped by them. I continue to be harmed by politicians more than I have been helped by them. No one is there to help me. Everyone is there to punish.

Then I was walking outside to the bus. A girl I liked was there but she vanished. I couldn’t find a place to sit and my mother was driving the bus erratically. The rear emergency exit opened onto an elongated platform that I stood on while trying to keep from being thrown off the bus. The bus careened through all the neighborhoods it had in real life, and then we were driving through the high school, its hallways somehow big enough to accommodate a school bus tearing through them like a bloated Indy 500 racecar. I woke up still trying to avoid being killed.

My late brother was estranged from our mother, as am I. I was obliged to get back in touch with her, as I represented my brother’s estate and she was one of the heirs. There was a point when she said that if she had known that she would do something that would alienate us, and I didn’t finish reading the email. She would have what? Been the parent she should have been to begin with? What stopped her? Our interactions during this period consisted of her being conciliatory while denying things that happened, punctuated with explosive anger when she was upset by things I said. I don’t have the energy to deal with any of it. My Emotional Support Canadian confirms that my mother was abusive and regards my mother as her enemy. I think it is awesome that twenty percent of the Canadian population is aligned with me against my mother.

#Disability #MightyPoets #Trauma #PTSD #Depression #MentalHealth #Suicide

Hi, my name is beau1955.

#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #Migraine #Fibromyalgia #PTSD #Grief #Cancer

Hi, my name is OptimisticAngelfish4.

#MightyTogether #PTSD #ADHD #RheumatoidArthritis #AutismSpectrumDisorder #Fibromyalgia #Migraine #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #Depression #BipolarDisorder #MultipleSclerosis #crohn'sDisease #EatingDisorder #Grief #Cancer #alpha-1AntitrypsinDeficiency

Hi, my name is OptimisticAngelfish4.

#MightyTogether #PTSD #ADHD #RheumatoidArthritis #AutismSpectrumDisorder #Fibromyalgia #Migraine #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #Depression #BipolarDisorder #MultipleSclerosis #crohn'sDisease #EatingDisorder #Grief #Cancer #alpha-1AntitrypsinDeficiency

Hi, my name is MesmericPheasant60.

#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #BipolarDisorder #Migraine #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Fibromyalgia #AutismSpectrumDisorder #RheumatoidArthritis #ADHD #PTSD #EatingDisorder #MultipleSclerosis #OCD #crohn'sDisease #alpha-1AntitrypsinDeficiency #Cancer #Grief

I had a partial hysterectomy with an oophorectomy (removal of both ovaries)yet I still have one left... I went into “instant” surgical menopause. I was diagnosed in 2018 with a very rare form of uterine cancer. Which means usually full hysterectomy and most likely also losing my ovaries and fallopian tubes. However the DR I went to was very stupid in my defense. Anyways they found my tumour and it was a huge 15cm x 30cm in size and they removed that along with 1 ovary,and tube. Then during labor with last kid I begged for a C-section in which my request was ignored and I had a uterine prolapse . Drs told me by 2028 if left untreated the cancer would very much likely spread through out my body and possibly kill me. I'm not living my best life by no means but I'm 34 have 4 children living one stillbirth 3 boys 2girls. Yet I'm very thankful to have lived this long. I'm scared to go get seen about as I think it's better left unknown I already fight depression n manic bipolar I just can't take no more bad news and I don't think treatment would be any help any advice

#grieving#Sports fan#texting him the morning he passed away. Sports teams, scores, etc. He lived in another part of Oregon. Hadn't seen each other in many years.

Few years ago he bought me a PINK fishing pole 🎣 cuz a friend had taught me how to fish. Being a 21 yr breast cancer survivor represents the PINK. At some point I explained to him that my fishing buddy now has ALS and can no longer do many things. Asked him if I could donate to American Cancer Society anonymously to a girl with CANCER and he was ok with it. We both wanted someone w cancer to have something positive.