air

After I think over a week of being housebound and bedridden, I’m finally outside. I couldn’t take it. I got up out of bed and decided I wasn’t paying $20 for food delivery just to get a 2 liter of ginger ale. My cat Lola looked up at me and I said “I’ll be right back.”

I’ve literally been a recluse this whole summer, due to physical and emotional troubles. The fact that I was assaulted at the end of June and haven’t been the same since is beginning to mess with my head. COVID-19 has made it so much harder to just go out and take a walk. Especially suffering from asthma among other things.

I don’t know. I guess I’m proud of myself. Small steps...I’ve just never felt so defeated, hopeless, helpless and depressed. I know take it one day at a time. That’s all I have...time... it’s not working for me. It’s working against me. I just feel so lost and drained. I’m resilient but it’s not enough...

I got out of bed though 😊and I’m writing again. I just pray this starts to get better sooner than later...I hope all of you had a good day today, are still kicking, and fighting! Love and light to all of you 💜💕🤓

Water of course is the base in this life
And then comes Air without air we cant breath and so we can't live
And the third essential is love
We can't live without loving and being loved in return with all kinds of love #water #air #Love

While that's the most important and crucial sign of being alive
I hate it

I don't know when I started to hate it
I hate to hear the sound of my breathing
When that air was pushed into my lung
When that air was pumped out of my system

I really hate it
The rhythm is never my favorite
Now it's even something that I hate the most

At night, when there's no sound other than my breathing
A calming music will always replace it
Then I find my peace for my sleep
Hoping that I will never find myself breathing anymore
Yet I end up disappointed every time I wake up the next day

#breath #suicidal #Life #Breathing #air #Poem #Poetry