Am I doing ok? #BipolarDisorder #AutisticCarer #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder
This time last year I was married and separated from my now ex. 6 years of marriage down the drain because of his issues and lack of care about his family. Now I'm divorced with 2 children. My oldest is autistic and recently diagnosed with ADHD. My youngest is a happy nerotypical toddler. Am I doing ok? My kids are happy and loved. They have food and a place to live. It's just us. I can't get a job because of my anxiety stressful situations and men are my only known triggers and I'm struggling. My ex quit his job to open his own business but has yet to make money so I'm not getting his child support and my oldest SSI is paying the bills. I feel so bad like I'm failing them. That's his money. His to do what he wants with and he can't because I can't get a job. Some days I just want to give up. It's so hard I'm struggling to stay afloat. Worring if I'm getting enough money next month to pay the bills. Had to shut off my phone and got a government phone same with internet. Just paying for light and rent but still just making it. I could only get them 1 gift this year. Am I making the right choice? Did I do the right thing? I just want to cry but they r always looking at me. I'm their only solid thing. I have to be strong their rock. I'm not ok but they make me better. They make me stronger and make me fight. I will never be normal but maybe soon I will be ok.