bereaved

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Resilience and adaptability to change

I am an expert in

Resilience (The ability to bend under pressure, rather than break.)

and adaptability to change (Nothing stays the same so you must learn to live with uncertainty and lack of control.)

For much of my life, I had a plan B.

If life ever really got too much, I thought I could just bail out and kill myself.

This may sound morbid or defeatist but actually, there was a perverse kind of comfort in it.

When I experienced firsthand the utter devastation of bereavement by suicide, my plan B was swept off the table, along with much of my existence.

John, my husband, best friend, father of my children, and partner in crime for over three decades died by suicide.

His is a complex story which I tell to the best of my ability in the memoir

“What Happened To John?” www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09XR6H963

So age 57 life as I knew it changed totally, suddenly, without warning or time to prepare. The man I loved and relied on since I was 24 years old was gone. I was a widow, with no idea how to cope without him.

Although it was sheer hell - when life does not pan out as expected what option is there but to be resilient and adapt?

What alternative is there but to play the hand you’ve been dealt, rather than obsessing over the cards you hoped to get?

When there is no plan B - you become resilient and adaptable to change - because there is no alternative.

I am not brave, or strong. I’m just out of other options.

#Suicide #bereaved #resilience #adaptible #change

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Grieving

Sometimes things just don’t get better. 2021 is, for me, no better than 2020.

Yesterday I unexpectedly had to say goodbye to my cat. He hadn’t been showing any signs of being ill up until 24 hours before. He was rushed to the vet yesterday and given a terminal diagnosis so we had to make the decision to stop his suffering.

I’m broken. It was so difficult to say goodbye to him, especially with how unexpected it was. I’ve been crying most the time and sleeping with his toys because he used to play with them so much, and they’re the closest thing I have to him now.

It all seems so wrong. It hurts me to explain though because it makes it more real.

On Friday I had contacted the doctors about my depression and told to contact them again on Monday and now this has happened. When it rains, it pours I guess.

#Depression #Cat #grieving #pet #petloss #Mourning #bereaved #MentalHealth #grievingapet

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My friend died last night

Yesterday one of my friends died in a violent car crash and 3 others all are in critical condition with spinal injuries. I don't know how to deal with this. I feel numb. Randomly crying. Can anyone tell me how I can move on or at least temporarily distract me from my grief. #Grief #bereaved #Death #help #Advice #violence

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