I have had a lot going on in the last year or two (especially lol). I always have as I have chronic health issues: NF1, chronic pain, migraine, asthma, major depression, and generalized anxiety. I have realized that I endured events that were traumatic but didn't want to label it as such at the time. But I was having a conversation the other day with my therapist and they told me that I need people in my life who see the love in everything. That really hit me. My parents have always seen the love in everything. However, I realize that in past relationships the people haven't always seen the love in everything. And I need more of that as I try to do that for other people. I need people that are accepting and understanding of me as a whole, imperfect person and my health struggles. People that show up consistently. I don't know anyone with NF1 or chronic pain and would like to make friends with them. I'd like to make friends with people who see the love and hope in everything, even in the worst situations. So this is sort of an invite for conversation. And I'm curious how have you cultivated relationships with these individuals or with individuals that have the same conditions as you? I look forward to hearing what everyone has to say and hope you all are having a good day! Thank you 🙂
Hello how is everyone? Good I hope I just wanted to share I've starting a new program today in hopes of getting my health back I suffer from a lot of things and Im starting to think it's cause I'm over weight I'm the biggest I've ever been and I researched fasting and it seem to be a good choice has alot of amazing benefits today is my first day I know it's gonna get hard but I've made a choice so I know I can do it if y'all could send me good vibes is appreciate it thank you hope everyone is doing well 🖤🙃✌🏻 Mindyl
I recently started working with a career counselor and her number one recommendation to me was to take a medical leave from work. I have always been a reliable and committed employee and this has been a difficult concept to wrap my mind around. The problem is, by being reliable and committed to work I have absolutely nothing left over for me and my personal life has become a black hole.
I was so so so anxious about speaking with my doctor about this. I have actually been unofficially boycotting him since last fall (he didn't know that) mainly because I just don't feel heard by him. He also doesn't seem properly equipped to deal with mental health concerns, and in particular completely ignores comments about feeling suicidal.
But I did it. I booked an appointment with him, I said what I had to say, and I even asked follow up questions (not that he was very helpful with those). He didn't argue or push back, but agreed very easily, which was a surprise. I asked for one month, and he wrote a letter asking for two months.
I have to tell my boss now and I am so anxious about it. I know this is going to devastate and crush her, especially with the particular projects going on at work right now, but I can't keep destroying myself in order to not destroy her. (I am second in command in our office, so we work together extremely closely.) The leave starts tomorrow, so I have to go in today and wrap things up.
I have never done anything like this before, but it has been a long, slow decline for the past decade and I have reached a very low point. I don't like the idea of being on a list somewhere as having taken time off for health reasons because I feel like that will be a black mark against me for future employers, even though they are legally not allowed to discriminate against me for this. I feel simultaneously like a failure and like I have been set free. It's going to be a big adjustment.
If you wait until you feel ready, you may never change.
#Conversation #Talk #Talking #conversations #talks #changes #heal #Trauma #mood #liveinthemoment #MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #mentalhealthmatters #quote #Quotes #PositiveVibes #positivequotes #Positivity #positive #StayPositive #selfcare #Stress #Anxiety #gethelp #Therapy #Counseling #Behavior #change #peace #Kindness
I’m on a pretty low dose of 20mg cipralex but going up to 40mg I think it’s making me extra anxious. Hope it’s okay to talk about meds here.
Just wanted tips for when it first makes you extra anxious. Or your experience with meds.
If you feel comfortable sharing if you do take meds what dose you are on or what you find helps you even if you don’t take meds, but you don’t want to share that’s perfectly okay
Thanks Everyone #meds #Medication #Dose #dosage #heal #Pain #Hope #Advice #yourexperience #coping #Tips #tryingtobehopeful #adjustjng #change
I love the title of this group. But a lesson I am learning since downloading this app is serving my anxious self a notice:
Let’s talk, Anxiety;
Anxiety, talk less! Period.
When this happens, I can handle the day and NOT flip in bed due to excessive thoughts.😁! Good Morning and Good Night to you, #TheMighty , from my neck of the woods.
There are times when what has been becomes suddenly much more real then usual.
Not as a flashback - they're definitely different - but more like a realization that what's in my memories, in my patterns, in my body and mind has really happened, some time ago in my life.
What surprises me the most is:
I'm not fine, even though I'm better than in previous months and years, but, the hell, compared to before it's like I'm in Heaven.
It doesn't bring me the positivity and mood switch I might expect, it weights the same, most of the times, but it surely helps me redimensioning the whole picture.
I'm grateful, overall, for one thing: now, when I have my crisis, they're still bad and, sometimes, worse than other times years ago, BUT they're crisis: they happen from time to time. (I'm not talking about being on low mood; to me, before, it was much more than that: tentacles slipping out of my head trying to choke me and smash anything inside and around me).
I can feel my mind clean, and, yup, I'm now crying, all of a sudden.
I'd never wanna go back to before.
A week ago I was writing a post I've never shared and, when recalling the bad effects the thing I was talking about had on me, I realized the list was very very long and very very painful and messy.
What makes it often difficult for me to comprehend my patterns and problems is that I tend to hide them, and then forget about them, over the years.
Thing is, there has been terror.
I don't wanna include the details, because I'm aware that for someone they could be not nice.
I shared this picture (search for Riftress on Pinterest, if you're interest - I really like these works) because it is one of the pics I saved back then.
Something have sucked up my own self from my life and I think it was the exhaustion from that period.
Crying helps me too.
If now I'm crying, it means it really has been hard.
Since I tend to hide and minimize, since people shared their issues with me and rarely listened to me, always ignored the signals I was pointing out and since things for me often changed - environmentally speaking - I tend to forget.
To me, now, it feels like I'm based on a void past.
It doesn't mean I'd wanna linger on it: just that in order to understand why I am the way I am today I need to recall.
Times like this one, though, makes me wanna go back that before and erase everything. Why it had to be so damageful.
Again, though, I tend to hide: none really witnessed in person any free expression of my mental state, so, then, it feel more righteous to minimize it. This confuses me.
Though I think it's not fair to compair: the same trauma can have different outcomes on different people; that's why I think crying is helpful -> it spots out the fact that what I'm feeling and thinking about - recalling - has really been a hardship for me.
But it seems impossible that all the dark lump has really left. Did it?
Instead of feeling and expressing itself in dark and full of --- ways*, my mind's just flat. That's the new pattern, I guess.
I've been backfired.
* I don't really feel at ease sharing details, again, but I don't know how to express it.
I still have issues to work on, sometimes - often - I just can take my mind anymore, I often have no energy to live my life, but sure it changed. Time heals.
And I've understood myself and other people better, in the meanwhile, which has been another fundamental turning point.
And I can't express how grateful I am whenever I get to become more aware then before. I love understanding.
So - I still can change and for the better.
There's and I have hope in it.
#Reflection #throwback #Trauma #Crisis #time #Understanding #past #Memory #Pain #cry #Life #mind #pattern #backfired #Healing #Awareness #HealingProcess #exhaustion #Monster #illness #MentalHealth #growing #growth #Present #Hope #change #Grief #Energy
I woke early this morning with my companion called anxiety. This time, I watched a short video about overcoming guilt: I have not intentionally made the choice to do something wrong, especially not at 5:30AM. The judgement is now an acquittal! Sentence released!👏👏👏
So, I sat still in the quietness and whispered, “No! I did not choose or make a conscious choice to do this or that intentionally,” as I spoke out the memories I wrestled with by blaming myself and issuing a judgment against myself. Yes, as I type this message, it sounds like I have been the judge and jury in the courtroom of my mind, for far too long.
The understanding of self-care is possibly just starting to break through the thick clouds of guilt fueled judgment I have grown accustomed to living under. An hour latter, I had a glimpse and a released form of happiness.
I’m proud of myself for sticking with the gym this year, even though I’ve had times where I went a week or two without going. I didn’t lose all my progress like I thought. My mental state was much better when I was sticking with it regularly. Even when I didn’t want to go, I still went, no matter my emotional state. Staying consistent with things has been my biggest struggle & while it’s not perfect, I’ve been more consistent than in the past. I hope this inspires someone to choose yourself & don’t allow the battle within to steal your dreams. 🏻 #MentalHealth #Fitness #ChronicDepression #Anxiety #Singlemom #change