Will I Ever Find Someone Who Loves Me? #Relationships #Autism #Depression
My girlfriend just broke up with me. Things moved fast. We moved in together. She has her own slew of mental health issues, but I never judged her. I helped her get her fibromayalgia pain under control. And then, I started to hear what everyone tells me. You’re around too much (I’m on Social Security Disability and can’t work). You’re too sensitive.
After having lived with my parents all of my 33 years on Earth, I got my first taste of what being independent was like. And for a while, I felt what having someone who cares about and loves you feels like.
Now I’ll have to move back in with my parents who are often cold, distant and unloving. The group of friends I made through her I don’t think I can bring myself to hang with. It would just be too awkward. So I’m right back in the dark. Forced to either find some awkward way to meet people like library events, or shut myself back in my room and play video games all day.
What’s the point, I keep asking myself. Maybe I was always meant to be alone. Is it so bad to not have any friends. Or to be single for life?
There’s more to my story. Just briefly, in addition to my autism I’m also a childhood brain tumor survivor.