I’m 92% Moved In. Where Is My Happy?
So… months ago I promised this group that after my move was complete I would start posting regularly again. I have been in my new place a month, so what’s the delay? Well…
I love being here but am not feeling the elation I was hoping would come after escaping my previous living location that I found very stressful. Where is it?
I keep telling myself that I am simply still adjusting, that being a chronic pain sufferer is exhausting, that I am still carrying a heavy stress load being my husband’s caregiver (even though I now get respite two days a week for six hours). What is it that is keeping me from jumping into the excitement of my new town?
Is it that my lifelong depression won’t or can’t just vanish? Did my psyche suffer so much bruising that it is struggling to heal? Am I having difficulty trusting the new family contact I have because of my family-related trauma history? I don’t know. Initially I was excited to be here, but that seems to have run out. Now I just feel tired all the time. I don’t feel inspired to hang my pictures on the walls. There is still 8% of organization needed before my move is truly complete. Two boxes still need to be unpacked.
The graphic I included with this post is depressing to me, even though I can relate. I’m wondering if this is as good as it will get for me… at least right now. Chronic illness is long-term by definition, after all. If so, maybe I need to adjust and stop expecting more.
I don’t really believe that though because I accessed joy prior to my move through Mooji’s Invitation to Freedom video and mindfulness practice. I guess I just drifted off-course. Getting back to those things that I know work will bring around the relief again that I crave.
Come with me. We’ll start with Mooji:
(If the link has expired, just go to YouTube and run a search for “Mooji invitation to freedom”.