🕵️♀️ Unauthorized Release
Not cleared. Not sanctioned. Absolutely on-brand.
Due to a minor breach in containment protocols
(someone left a Fog Log™ in the communal compost; these things happen and are fine),
the following dispatches from BestGuessistan have been prematurely exposed.
We will neither confirm nor deny their accuracy.
But if you happen to find yourself in this order, you might just survive.
🔜 The Potemkin Department of Wellness
An internal memo from the Bureau of Appearances and Performance, revealing just how hollow the gleam of “wellness” can be when we’re soul-tired, performance-optimized, and dangerously good at faking fine.
🔜 BestGuessistan’s Corporate BS Bingo
Mission. Vision. Values. Synergy. Alignment.
The Ministry of Strategic Repositioning has finally decoded corporate doublespeak into actual human language.
And yes, it’s a game now. There are stickers. And dotting. And double dotting.
🔜 The Ministry of Ritual and Repetition
A field guide for those who need lucky socks, matched clocks, and to wash their hands exactly three times.
Featuring the Superstishwear Boutique, the Alignment Station, and the Maybe Bell™.
A gift shop is under development. Updates on a need-to-know basis.
🔜 The Modular Survival Kit
Forget the tools you’re told to need. These are the ones that actually kept us upright.
Maybe. For now. Until we need different ones.
We’ve figured it out. For now. Until it doesn’t work.
🔜 The It Dependsathon
A hedge maze housed inside the Rewirement Reserve.
Some paths are clipped with French precision. Others meander like English wildflowers.
Some are minimalist, mossy, and still. Recovery isn’t linear. It’s horticultural.
There’s a force field where questions like “aren’t you better by now?” bounce off and are never felt.
🔜 No Wrong Answers: The Video Game
You left BestGuessistan, but it left a little something in you.
This immersive post-visit game keeps the rewirement going—camouflaging vision therapy and cognitive rehab as play.
(Don’t worry. The yoga dog still won’t make eye contact.)
It’s a world. It’s a universe. It keeps BestGuessistan with you, but only as much as you want.
Individual mileage may vary.
Please note: this list is neither exhaustive nor binding.
Timelines are suggestions.
Publishing order is subject to real life, reprocessing, and rest cycles.
If you were hoping for consistency, you may be lost.
But if you’re comfortable with ambiguity, you’re home.
Filed by the Ministry of Controlled Disclosure
Because some leaks are intentional.
Everything is eventually fine. At least in the director’s cut.