there are days when my only accomplishment is dragging myself out of bed, and surviving the day. I haven’t had a day like that in weeks. I get plenty of sleep and I can toss and turn as much as I want, without having to worry about waking anyone up. no one except me has slept in my bed in two years and eight months. I was #depressed from mid-2018 to mid- to late 2019. I had #SuicidalIdeation from late 2018 to mid-2019. I feel like I’m waking up from a dream. was I even really #living or was I simply #Surviving? even if I was only surviving, I wasn’t doing a very good job.
now, I want to #thrive, and I’m setting myself up nicely, preparing myself for the next low. but there are still days when I just break down and sob. I let it all out and sleep it off. and the next day, I feel better.
the difficult part is when I sleep and sleep and sleep, but don’t start feeling better. the weight of the world breaks my heart. if I lose hope, I know it’s going to be a long journey back to okay. just okay. because look at the world we live in. it SHOULD break our hearts. people are alone, people are dying, people are making desperate choices in an attempt to save their families and themselves. how can it NOT break your heart? #justice #Civilrights #Ramblingthoughts
We would be a nation unto ourselves.
Perhaps we are the true frontier of #Civilrights. Someday.