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On Disability and Self Confidence

#Selfconfidence #Disability #progress

Growing up, I was never a particularly confident person. I remember being a little kid, hiding behind my mother while at my grandma's house, too shy to talk to this woman I had known my whole life. In school, I was too afraid to raise my hand, so I would walk to my teachers desk to ask them my question. Somedays that was too nerve wrecking, so I just sat silently.

In middle school my self confidence PLUMMETED. I've never hated myself, or how I looked more than I did then. You'd think, that me becoming disabled as a freshman, in late 2020/early 2021 would make my mental health worse. Ironically the opposite happened. That's not to say it was an immediate change, infact it's much the opposite. I struggled a LOT in the beginning. My first symptom were tics, kinda ironic that the kid who hates any form of attention on them, now has a disorder that almost garuntees they get attention anywhere they go. In the beginning I could (for the most part) suppress them. So I went to school, and did my best to hide them. I mostly suppressed in class, letting my self tic freely at lunch with my friends who I knew wouldn't judge me.

This went well, until summer break, my tics got worse, I could no longer supress. My sophmore year was rapidly approaching, and I panicked. I could no longer hide my tics. What would people say? Who would stare? Would they think I was faking? And more "What if"s. I had a panic attack a bit before my first day of school. I go to school, and it wasn't as bad as I feared.

Then summer rolled around, and I got a cane (I technically got one during my Sophmore year, but I rarely used it, and didn't use it at school). My mobility declined to a point I needed to bring it to school. Again, I was terrified. If last year made me panic, I was fucking petrified. Again, I had a panic attack a week before school started. And again, when I went to school, I realized that it wasn't that bad.

Funnily enough the same issues that gave me so much anxiety, taught me self confidence. Being in public, as a teenager with tics, and a cane mean that people stare at you. At first I felt ever individual stare boring a hole into my soul. But, overtime I stopped noticing them. My tics have calmed down significantly (now I rarely tic), and I still use a cane. But people still stare, and I don't care anymore. I had to learn to deal with people making fun of me. There's so many things I was forced to deal with, that taught me self confidence. My body is broken, but it still does so much for me, if 11-14 year old River, could've seen how amazing she was, and just how much worth it had.

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ISO journal inspo

hey friends and fae!
just wondering what your favourite journal prompts are? the brain fog is thicc.

#mentalhealth #Journal #journalprompts #Writing #Healing #progress #BPD #audhd #ADHD


× " The Main Reason's Why I'm Starting To Love Who I'am As A Human Being... " × #progress

× " I'm Realizing That I Love Being Alone... And Content.. I Also Enjoy Alway's Helping Other's Or Mentoring People.. Or Just Being There For Someone.... I Also Cherish My Solitude And Peace... I Hate D.R.A.M.A. × Argument's.. Yes! I Still Enjoy Writing My Poetry... But Work Has Gotten In The Way Lately... I'm Also Starting To Become A Workaholic.. Which Can Be Dangerous And Super Stressful All The Time... But My Physical × Mental Well-being Will Alway's Be My 1st Priority... I Will Alway's Be Kind To Other's.. Even Though People Are Mean And Rude Nowaday's For No Reason.. My Pure Big Heart Will Alway's Be Pure... No Matter What.. My Body " IS BROKEN AND WOUNDED " ... And My Mind Is Kinda Here And There.. My Hearing Is Fading Away.. But I'm Still Human No Matter If I'm A Broken Doll.." × Sincerly, ☆ SKADI ☆ #growing


Progress! 10 years in the making

For the first time in the ten years that I have been taking medication for my mental illnesses, my doctor suggested I lower my dose. Don't get me wrong, medication is not the only way to show improvement and management. But it is an easy one to track. I have recognized that this will be my life long journey, and if my medication goes back up, that is totally ok. But I want to honor this season of hope, patience, and determination. My wish is for someone to read this and see that wins for mental illness come in all shapes and sizes. If you told me that it would be ten years for this moment to happen, I would have thought I failed. But I have not failed. I have been strong, and resilient. High five to me today for this win, and high fives to every warrior celebrating progress however that may look! #Hope #MentalHealth #progress #Medication

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Little Bit of Progress.

I just thought I would share the first strawberry I picked that I grew on my allotment this year.
Sometimes progress we make or the things we get achieved in a day can feel as small as this strawberry.
But even something as small as a strawberry can bring happiness 😊
Keep at it people, and rest when you need.
💪🏽🍓 #EDS #ChronicIllnessEDS #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #EDSHT #EDSAwareness #HypermobileTypeEDS #Spoonie #SpoonieProblems #ChronicIllness #progress #happy

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Hello, me. I've been waiting for you.

I have ideas in my head. So many ideas. Good ones!

My brain holds books that I've written. Businesses that I've dreamed up. Problems that I'm going to solve for the good of humanity.

Just one problem. I haven't found that perfect someone. A business partner who will keep me on task and on track and who is willing to take a chance with me.

Until now.

I recently discovered that the perfect someone I've been waiting me. I'm the one who has been holding me back (or is it my nagging anxiety and negative self-talk?). Equally, I'm the one who can propel me forward and hold me accountable. I'm the one who is taking my first (baby) steps forward.

I know I have it in me. And, so do you.

#Anxiety #selfcare #Motivation #dosomethingsmall #KeepMoving #Selfesteem #progress #MentalHealth #mentalhealing

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Therapy is not linear, it’s more like a spiral.

One of the frustrating parts of therapy for me has been the fact that I keep coming back to things that I had thought I had already dealt with. Certain issues seem to ebb and flow in terms of how well I am handling them and when they get triggered, I feel like I am thrust right back to the beginning of therapy. It can feel deflating, like we haven’t made any progress.

But the reality is that therapy isn’t linear: 'But You Were Fine Yesterday' The best we can hope for is that each time we revisit an issue we resolve it quicker and more effectively. That’s progress.

How has this aspect of therapy shown up for you? Is there something you continually come back to when something gets triggered for you, like attachment issues or perfectionism?

#Therapy #progress #PTSD #CPTSD #Trauma

'But You Were Fine Yesterday'

“It’s like my own inner critic is berating me for not being able to sustain the ‘better’ feeling.”
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Too many times, we get caught up in the idea of perfection. Whether you're recovering from a traumatic injury, finding your way back to yourself post-stroke, or embarking on another challenging journey, it's important to remember that progress is progress, no matter how imperfect. One movement, however difficult or tenuous, is a movement. A step forward, however unsteady, is a step forward. A less-painful day is still a better day than yesterday.

Perfection is a lie. Here's the truth: all progress adds up to the final result of you reaching your goals. Keep at it!

#perseverence #progress #truestrength #Survivor #Foodforthought #Dailyinspiration #StrokeSurvivorsNeverQuit #AneurysmSurvivorsNeverQuit #FindingForward


We’re a community that supports each other by sharing our experiences.
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I did it. I took a shower…

I’d of never ever thought I’d be where I’m at today. Where showering is such a victory.

7 months ago I was the woman who held a full time job, paid my bills and raised two children on my own and we lived in a home that I worked very hard to buy. Life is what we make it right?? So I made sure to make it the best I possibly could and I was happy. I remember waking up eager to start a new day each morning. I remember the feeling of satisfaction and love each night as I tucked my kids into bed. My life wasn’t perfect but we were very blessed. Sure there were bumps in the road but I overcame every obstacle that came my way. As a teenager I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression and unfortunately they reared their ugly heads from time to time when things got tough, but I knew the protocol and how to care for myself during those times. I’d rest and give myself extra self love and care and things would return to normal.

Then in August my life flipped completely upside down as I slowly begin to enter my first “depressive episode”. Fast forward 7 months to today and I’m STILL here… engulfed in the darkness. My coping mechanisms no longer work and I can’t just jump back to normal like in the past. However, today I managed a shower. I hadn’t had one in over a week and I stayed in there for an hour trying to scrub the depression away. I can only wish it worked that way… but I’m proud of myself. I did it. I tried all week but today I made it happen. It’s the small victories that lead to bigger ones. I took a shower and I’m exhausted.

#Showering #Selfcare #Selflove #hygeine #progress #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Anxiety #CPTSD #TheMighty