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3 Christmas’s now without my kids #Depression #missmykids

Was with a narcissist for 19 years and to loose him meant I had to to also loose my kids who I was very close to. Now they see me as the evil mother who walked out on them and on her responsibilities and who should have sacrificed her life for them. they have learnt a lot of hurtful words and come backs. I have 2 boys aged now 20 and 15 and a 19 year old daughter.
I miss them each and every day and cry at least 2 times a week but mood is always down. I don’t know how my husband of now 4 months puts up with me. #sickofmylife #hatemyex #Anxiety #stomachissues #hospitalised #Breakdowns
people don’t see what happens behind #closeddoors. they see a beautiful picture and assume all is well in the world.
don’t judge me till you have walked in my shoes. I can’t believe that some people have kids and treat them horribly while others are dying to see their kids with no hope of a chance. I miss you Niki, Bella , Gabby. very much!!!

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Do #introverts have only certain amount of time during day when they can best #interact ?

Have #Introvert #coworker who used to occassionally chat with others, but has #isolated herself almost completely in her #Office #closeddoors every day after got in #relationship #married .

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The Captain (c) Mark Bryant 2018

Purpose. Direction.  Rest.

Closed doors, stalled ship and dropped anchor.

The couch of stability, stained with stagnant sweat.

I could be doing more, but I’m doing enough.  And that’s O.K.

I’m pacing the ship.

I’m trying to peer through the fog.

I’m wondering what’s next,

But I can’t see much from the crow’s next.

Maybe I’m right where I belong, at least for now.

Timber calls me.

I long to grab and join.

Create, plan, join, learn,

Enjoy – it’s something I’d enjoy.

But as for a landing place, I’m out of sorts

Because I can’t see any welcoming ports

Through the fog.

Poetry is my traveller’s blog,

When I wish to know The Captain’s log,

But perhaps I’m looking for the course myself

and how to get there

Instead of trusting that The Captain knows what’s best for me,

And that maybe, where I need to be is right here?

Maybe the ship will never land

Would that sit well with me?

If I just remained here with The Captain?

Maybe instead of doing, it’s knowing who I am

Valued, Purposefully Identified

In The Captain crucified.

Is that enough for me?

To know that He has calmed stormy seas

And is right here, beside me?

Yes!  It is enough for me, or it should be.

#Anxiety
#Depression
#Career
#journey
#closeddoors
#thecaptain
#god

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