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The Journey Home

There are experiences in our life that will not be needed during our journey into our Spiritual Man. We can enjoy them when they come, but we should be willing to let them go when the proper time comes. Some experiences will continue on and we will take them with us, because they will be useful and are a part of us.

My Spirit Man is lighter than my natural man. While my natural man sets his mind and desires on what is common to him, my Spirit Man longs for God and to walk in the fullness thereof.

I love both men; both the nature of Adam, though he has passed away, and the nature of Christ. #god #spirit

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The Examination of My Heart

Over the past few months, I have been experiencing teaching that shares how you can become an observer of your own life. The teaching has helped me in many areas of my life and from it, I am learning how to become an observer of my own heart.

It can be said that our lives are the product of what is within our hearts, so to go from observing my life to observing my heart is only a small and natural step.

I have taken this step because I am concerned with what I have been observing in my thoughts and my words. The content of a person’s heart always comes out through the words they speak, because out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.

While we observe, we should not become offended by our words or our hearts when we witness inconsistencies between God and His nature, as I have. Rather, we should be thankful that a place of observation led us to a true revelation of our hearts.

Whatever inconsistencies that appear in our hearts come as a result of being human, and, in some ways, forgetting our original identity in Christ. Thankfully, it is from our original identity that we can observe the issues of our human hearts with compassion.

Even though I am in a difficult place, by observing my heart with compassion I can hope to understand why I operate the way I do, and from that hope, I can identify some of the negative beliefs and behaviors that I participate in and turn them around for the good. #heart #issues #god

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Looking for Love

I have heard it said before that deep within each of us lies a space only God can fill, and that many of us travel this life trying to fill that space.

During my journey, I have witnessed that creation itself, as wondrous and as beautiful as it may be, was never designed to take God’s place in our life. In this created life we have been allowed to experience other people, patterns, and moments, but none of them can truly compare to the greatness of who God is.

When we focus on what has been created for us instead of our Creator, we end up loving and worshipping an illusion rather than the essence of who God is. But not all illusions are bad, and most were designed to bring us back to the truth of who we are, Sons and Daughters of God.

Loving the truth and turning away from the illusions can be difficult, but it is a journey we must all make, one that will lead us to the truest form of love.

God is after our hearts, first and foremost, and above all else. Once He knows He has your heart, He can lead you to your divine purpose in this created life. #god #Love

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My Scars are My Tattoos

I do not have any body art, or what most people call tattoos. Several of my friends and family members do. I think their cool and would get one…if it didn’t hurt!

I do have other tattoos that go deeper than the skin. I have scars tattooed on my heart from my past. Before I was diagnosed with bipolar, my life was completely out-of-control. I have done things and said things that I am very ashamed of doing and saying.

The story doesn’t end there. I know someone who has tattooed my name on the palm of His hands. Jesus. It doesn’t matter what I have done or said, He took it to the cross and there it stayed. The scars on my heart are still there, but they are covered with His blood.

Your scars, whatever they may be, are covered with His blood, too. Just accept Him as God’s one and only Son.

#Bipolar #mentalhealthmatters #god #Jesus #savior #cross

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God Sings Over You

God will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. Zephaniah 3:17

Did you know that God sings? Did you know that He sings over you? Yes! No matter what you are going through yesterday, today, and tomorrow God is singing over you.

The Bible doesn’t tell us exactly what God sings over us, just that He does. If I were to guess what He is singing over me right now, it would be for me to be at peace. He is singing a lullaby that calms my anxiety and lifts my mood.

What is God singing over you today?

#mentalhealthmatters #Anxiety #god #Jesus #Singing

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The Unexpected Gifts from God

Every good and perfect gift is from God. James 1:17

God made this morning’s sunrise for us to enjoy. The laughter of children is a sound that brings parents adoration. The male cardinal eating at your birdfeeder displays the wonderment of God’s creation for us to appreciate.

All we need to do is recognize that all that is around us is a good and perfect gift from God for us to experience. Take time to look around you and relish the beauty of all the gifts that God created for you to relish.

Sometimes when I am feeling depressed, one of God’s gifts will come to my attention. I will see one of my sweet babies peacefully asleep and feel the love I have for them well up in my heart. I maybe outside with my three pup-dogs and I am laughing out loud at their playfulness. The other day I saw a blue jay soar through my backyard and I was amazed at his beauty.

When I stop to notice God’s gifts, the symptoms of my mental illness seem to shrink away for the time being. Thank you Lord for loving me enough to give me such precious gifts.

#Depression #mentalhealthmatters #Jesus #god #Love #giftsfromgod

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My Life of Cycling

Boy has this week been a humdinger! Fits of rage, the highs of mania, and the pit of depression and back again. Actually, this is my norm but it just felt more intense than usual.

I had an appointment with my psychologist yesterday. I told her that at the beginning of my mental health journey, the highs and lows would seem to come out of nowhere and I was pissed off. It took me several years to come to terms with the fact that the rollercoaster is always going. There is no off-season. It never shuts down.

She and I talked about how to sort of go with the flow. Know that it is going to happen and be okay with it. I told her that I ride the high as long as I can and take advantage of it.

She suggested that I have some ideas of what to do to when I fall into the pit of despair.

The one thing I know to be true that no matter what, Jesus is with me. Whether I am high as a kite or as low as I can go, He is there walking beside me.

The funny thing is that the ultra-rapid cycling is almost a blessing. I know that sounds crazy, but hear me out. I have more highs than I do lows. One of my dearest friends has severe major depression. She is in bed more than she is out of bed. When she has a good day, she hangs onto it with dear life because she knows it is fleeting.

I say my ultra-rapid cycling is a blessing because I could be on the flip side where the depression is more frequent and lasts longer than the hypomania or mania.

What about you? Do you experience more mania than depression or is it the other way around? What do you do to cope with cycling?

#bipolarcycling #Bipolar #Depression #Mania #Hypomania #mentalhealthawarenss #Jesus #god

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I Hate Pill-Poppin’ Tuesdays

Every Tuesday night, I have to organize my medicine for the next week. I have over 20 different prescription and over-the-counter medicines, as well as supplements I take. Nearly half are prescribed.

On Tuesday night and every time I pop a handful of pills, I am reminded of my illness. If it isn’t the actual Rx, it is the medicine to counteract the side effects.

When I go out to eat, I always feel self-conscious that others are seeing all the pills I am taking. My paranoia kicks in and I wonder what they are thinking about me.

I remember a friend of mine from high school and college. She had a medicine organizer just like the one I have now. I don’t think she ever revealed why she was on so much medicine. That just amazed me when I was a teenager. I felt bad for her.

I would be so embarrassed if any of my friends knew the amount of medicine I take every day. When Tuesday night comes around or when I look at those pills I take at each meal and when I go to bed, I want to throw them all away. It is just another reminder that I am unwell.

In the end, I am thankful to those men and women who created those pills that keep me stable and healthy. I see them as the hands and feet of Jesus in my life. But for them, I would not be here today.

#mentalhealthmatters #Medicine #Bipolar #Depression #Anxiety #Paranoia #Jesus #god #Faith

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