journey

Started back to #Therapy this week. My homework was to “do something just for me, something I enjoy”.

I had to think about that, I’m still thinking about that. My career and my life revolve around caring for people. I used to say that my #Joy comes from seeing others happy but maybe that isn’t true anymore. Maybe I have cared too much and helped too much and maybe I don’t enjoy it anymore. It’s sad to say that and I still care of course but I don’t get joy from it, I do it out of duty and responsibility now.

So what do I enjoy? What will I do this week for me?

I’ll set myself #free . I’ll allow myself to not care about anyone else, even if just for an hour. I may not know what my #selfcare will be just yet, but I’m going to let myself find it.

#Nurse #Burnout #Stress #overwhelmed #tired #angry #anxious #depressed #fighting #journey

How does one know if they are having a Spiritually Enlightening Moment or if it’s Just a Mental Illness Episode… I can’t explain what I mean … If Anyone Out There gets what I’m saying Please lmk… #mentally /spiritual #journey /episode #momentarywhat

New insurance meant new doctors for me. I head to my new PC with my file in hand, my list of notes and concerns because I stumble on words when I’m pain. He greats me with ease and attentiveness, and doesn’t treat me like it’s in my head. We start a plan of attack for answers. Blood work, x-rays and referrals.
Blood work comes back almost normal with some vitamin deficiencies even though I take supplements. There’s also that unexpected positive ANA test. So off to rheumatology for more answers. Next the appointment for the cervical abnormalities. Having a history of cancer cells, #LEEPprocedure , irregular bleeding and much more, I struggle with trying to keep some health issues separate, but some overlap with symptoms. Chronic pain and bleeding both hurt and causing me inflammation. At the same time. Along with fatigue and migraines.
This #journey is just starting again. Hoping for relief, answers and understanding.