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    Autism and Grief

    I'd like to ask a question for those on the autism spectrum: What experiences did you have with loss and grief? My son's reaction to his father's death was a lack of acceptance that took us 8 months to amend. What about your own? #Grief #Autism #magical #journey

    23 reactions 16 comments

    The emotional pain of families disinterest.

    I find it deeply sad and soul destroying, that if I mention what I’m struggling with to my loved ones, the answer seems #yesweknow when wanting to share the rapid intensification of #symptoms of either #Bipolar or #BPD or #Depression etc…

    Please remember friends, find your tribe. The people who #Suffer and live with what you do. This is where the #Understanding and #Kindness you’re seeking will be found.
    I don’t believe anyone, no matter how much they love you, can even get a tiny glimpse of your #emotionalpain .
    Don’t blame,, find others who feel and understand and have similar #mentalillnesses .
    I hope this little nugget helps you in your #journey back to you.
    Bipolarlinedeb ♥️🌹🌹


    Question to all : can you relate to feeling profoundly defective ?

    I’ve realized that one of the major impediments in my daily life is the core belief that I am wrong, dysfunctional, defective. It seeps through every little thing I do, say or feel.
    My first response to whatever I just did, thought or expressed spontaneously is to correct it into its opposite. If I become aware that my body adopted this or that position while slouching on the couch, I will automatically change it, without even questioning why the first setup was wrong in the first place. That’s a silly, mundane example just to illustrate how pervasive it is.
    In more serious matters, it means I condemn every thing I want, do, say, think or feel without even taking the time of fully exploring it. Whatever happens instinctively, as soon as I get aware of it, I will immediately go the other way.
    That core belief is inevitably accompanied by a permanent sense of shame. Because I am so inherently, so intrinsically wrong, because the way I’m wired is inadequate, I am ashamed of everything I am - or rather, everything I am not.
    Springing from this original belief and the shame it brings, I am constantly thinking something along the lines of “I have to get better before I can do this” or “I need to fix my issues before I can attempt anything”. Meanwhile, life sort of passes me by, time flies and I wake up from time to time having gained another year and not feeling like I’ve made any real progress at all.
    It makes me wonder if all the problems and issues I think I have are as real as I believe them to be - or if they are emanations of that one single twisted, crippling belief. It kept me from entering any sort of relationship for six years, believing I couldn’t impose the mess that I was on another human being. In the end, being in a relationship is probably the place where I did the most growing and gained the most self-awareness.
    Anyway, I was wondering if anyone had ever come to that realization and if so, how you guys had coped with it and maybe even eventually healed from it.
    Thanks for reading.
    #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Shame #Selfworth #journey #Breakthrough

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    What it feels like to heal from #Childhoodtrauma

    People always say: 'Healing is never linear.'

    This means that some days you feel like you've mastered the thing that's been bothering you for years, only to break down crying about it the next day.

    Don't let anyone tell you how long or how it should look or take to heal. Your #journey is your own!

    Healing takes many forms for me, but the top of my list is:

    1.Your #Perspective becomes your power

    2.Self-care becomes essential, not seen as so selfish anymore

    3.You get that #boundaries are so much more than just saying no

    4.You attune to your inner child crying for attention

    5.You stop ignoring your #intuition

    6.Social situations becomes less stressful

    7.#Depression leaves you alone for longer periods of time.

    8.Creating healthier habits

    9.Procrastinating less and better focus

    10.Eating becomes less triggering

    What else can you add to this list?

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    Acceptance of your Whole Self 🌺

    Acceptance of one’s whole self is seemingly difficult these days. The criticism and scepticism that people face from others on a daily basis is scary, unbelievable and daunting. I think what makes these feelings of judgement and worthlessness worse are the thoughts that we believe them to be true. These self-doubts can become debilitating at times. When these feelings and beliefs arise, I have a look at the passage below. It speaks of acceptance of one’s self. Self acceptance is vital in these times we live in. We rely on it to heal from our past to ensure we understand how to better our actions/ reactions in the future. Be patient in this process and know you are trying your best every day to simply be better than the day before. Accept the good and bad parts of yourself. Never condoning, nor judging, the side that requires the most growth. That’s all you can do. You are worth your own love 🌻🌻🌻

    #Acceptance #Selfblame #Selfcare #Selfworth #PersonalGrowth #selfgrowth #loveyourself #patience #Takeyourtime #Positivity #Forgiveness #Healing #loveyourself #growth #freeyourself #Selflove #journey #movingforward #itstime #LetsGo #MentalHealth #Recovery

    1 reaction 7 comments

    Who even am I?

    Started back to #Therapy this week. My homework was to “do something just for me, something I enjoy”.

    I had to think about that, I’m still thinking about that. My career and my life revolve around caring for people. I used to say that my #Joy comes from seeing others happy but maybe that isn’t true anymore. Maybe I have cared too much and helped too much and maybe I don’t enjoy it anymore. It’s sad to say that and I still care of course but I don’t get joy from it, I do it out of duty and responsibility now.

    So what do I enjoy? What will I do this week for me?

    I’ll set myself #free . I’ll allow myself to not care about anyone else, even if just for an hour. I may not know what my #selfcare will be just yet, but I’m going to let myself find it.

    #Nurse #Burnout #Stress #overwhelmed #tired #angry #anxious #depressed #fighting #journey

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    You shouldn’t have to fight as hard to get the proper acknowledgment, support, diagnosis, treatment and the list goes on. I know you are exhausted but keep fighting. The key phrase to add to your sentences where applicable is quality of life E.g I would like to be prescribed this medication because I hope that it will improve my quality of life. We shouldn’t have to fight to get the health care we deserve so we can do more than just survive. I find all of you and the journeys and thing you’ve had to endure and overcome so inspiring. You’re the real heroes. #Positivity #journey #MentalHealth #MentalHealthAdvocacy #MentalHealthDays #ChronicDepression #ChronicIllness #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #ChronicIllnessEDS #AutonomicDysfunction #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #LivingWithPOTS

    1 reaction 3 comments

    Spiritual Enlightenment or Mental Illness Episode…

    How does one know if they are having a Spiritually Enlightening Moment or if it’s Just a Mental Illness Episode… I can’t explain what I mean … If Anyone Out There gets what I’m saying Please lmk… #mentally /spiritual #journey /episode #momentarywhat


    Learning More about myself and #ChronicPain #CervicalCancer #overlappingsymptoms #Inflamation

    New insurance meant new doctors for me. I head to my new PC with my file in hand, my list of notes and concerns because I stumble on words when I’m pain. He greats me with ease and attentiveness, and doesn’t treat me like it’s in my head. We start a plan of attack for answers. Blood work, x-rays and referrals.
    Blood work comes back almost normal with some vitamin deficiencies even though I take supplements. There’s also that unexpected positive ANA test. So off to rheumatology for more answers. Next the appointment for the cervical abnormalities. Having a history of cancer cells, #LEEPprocedure , irregular bleeding and much more, I struggle with trying to keep some health issues separate, but some overlap with symptoms. Chronic pain and bleeding both hurt and causing me inflammation. At the same time. Along with fatigue and migraines.
    This #journey is just starting again. Hoping for relief, answers and understanding.