Complex Post-traumatic Stress Disorder

Honestly I feel like giving up on God and just keep going to the mental hospital constantly. I hate the way God made me. I have really bad mental health issues and probably don’t even have the brightest future ahead unless if I have a lucky star. I spent most of my years in and out of mental hospitals. I barely lived life and sometimes I don’t care if I die because I am not living a life I want and I feel miserable #MentalHealth #Anxiety #ADHD #AnorexiaNervosa #Bipolar2 #Bipolar1 #BipolarDepression #BipolarDisorder #CheckInWithMe #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #Schizophrenia #Psychosis #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #PTSD #Trauma #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #Selfharm #Autism #Addiction #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Manic #Grief #Diabetes #DiabetesType1 #DiabetesType2 #MajorDepressiveDisorder #EatingDisorders

Shaking and confusion are frequent. Bad thoughts overwhelm me, and their themes change. I always expect the worst and project it onto loved ones. Guilt is constant; I'm also haunted by past. Self-condemnation is intense. I overthink everything. I scrutinize others, analyzing deeply. I feel empty. Time is spent fixing, not living; I live waiting for a future that I am also afraid of. I'm always rushing, panicking, and stressed. If I notice the slightest change, I think something terrible has caused it; I am rigid. I even stress others. Sadness and fear are present. My legs often feel weak. Sometimes, I physically feel pain in chest and believe my heart would stop – it's too much. I am always alert in case my loved ones need me; sometimes I feel like I'm being watched. I can't make sense of it all. I am too aware of the slightest detail or change in my loved ones, and it consumes me. I force myself to move along with my days, laugh, and shove things under the rug, but when I am at home, I still feel these things. Can anyone relate or am I just exagerrating and if yes tell me what has been helping them? #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #ChronicFatigue
#ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder
#MajorDepressiveDisorder
#MentalHealth
#Anxiety

I have dealt with depression most my life. It has been more prevalent in my adult years. For the past 4 years I've been unable to work and function in my daily life or take care of my basic needs. I do everything I told, I go to therapy I take my meds I practice my grounding techniques for my cptsd. I spend most of my day in bed unable to find the motivation energy or desire to get out of bed. Making decisions seem to be impossible for me. Things just seem to be multiplying the depression is getting heavier. I also just found out my best friend is moving, my only friend. I just wonder why I should keep trying. I'm tired of just existing with no feelings and no emotions I am just numb to the life around me. I am truly lost.
#major depressive disorder
#CPTSD
#Anxiety
#diabetic
#Crohn 's
#IBS

I have dealt with depression most my life. It has been more prevalent in my adult years. For the past 4 years I've been unable to work and function in my daily life or take care of my basic needs. I do everything I told, I go to therapy I take my meds I practice my grounding techniques for my cptsd. I spend most of my day in bed unable to find the motivation energy or desire to get out of bed. Making decisions seem to be impossible for me. Things just seem to be multiplying the depression is getting heavier. I also just found out my best friend is moving, my only friend. I just wonder why I should keep trying. I'm tired of just existing with no feelings and no emotions I am just numb to the life around me. I am truly lost.
#major depressive disorder
#CPTSD
#Anxiety
#diabetic
#Crohn 's
#IBS