compulsive sexual behavior disorder

I was sexualized at age 7. Exposed to pornography and molested and pushed into incest.

I don't know how common nor rare my story is. Men in American society aren't considered sexual abuse victims. Males are hypersexual by nature, so what does it matter if I was sexually abused by a sibling?

I don't remember a lot of things in my life from before age 12. Yet I can describe in painfully agonizing detail the first time I ever witnessed my sibling masturbate while watching a pornographic video.

I was 7 and they were 15. My experience with them gets far more graphic, but I'll spare you the details. Sufficed to say, all the way into puberty, I was this sibling's living sex toy.

Then with puberty came excessive sexual activity. I was not popular in school but a certain part of my body got all kinds of positive attention for me. So much so, that I identified myself by my wonderful male organ.

Adult life I went through many sexual partners, male and female. So long as they satisfied me sexually, that's all that mattered.

My first marriage was to a woman who was my sexual match. We married too young, too fast... so we didn't last.

Several sexual relationships ensued and I met my current wife, whom I've been with nearly 15 years. Never once have I cheated on this amazing woman.

At age 41, I'm supposed to be slowing down and having less of a libido right? I'm supposed to be the disinterested one, right?

I love my wife with every fiber of my being & will never stray from her. But mentally, psychologically, my sexual appetite and libido and near-compulsive masturbation .... constant sexual thoughts .... it wears me out. It literally makes me cry.

Can you relate? How do YOU cope? What advice can you offer me?
#CompulsiveSexualBehaviorDisorder
#Hypersexuality #libido #SexualAbuseSurvivors #SexualAbuse #ChildhoodSexualAbuse #SexualTrauma #Sexuality

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 8 years. We have a very unhealthy relationship. While we do talk and share things, we have not had a physical relationship is 6 years. We are very codependent and both have been unhappy for a while. Needless to say I am craving physical attention but can normally take care of these urges myself.

I recently started working for a guy I went to school with and am finding myself extremely drawn to him. I think about kissing him and having sex with him constantly. He has shown no interest in me at all but my thoughts have become very obsessive. I’m checking his Facebook page and obsessing over every little post. I’m scared that this will mess up my working relationship with my boss and I can’t afford to lose another job.

I’m bipolar 1, OCD and GAD with PTSD from childhood sexual trauma and know I’m in the wrong here and just need to get this off my chest. Thanks for listening. #BipolarObsessiveness #CompulsiveSexualBehaviorDisorder