I was sexualized at age 7. Exposed to pornography and molested and pushed into incest.
I don't know how common nor rare my story is. Men in American society aren't considered sexual abuse victims. Males are hypersexual by nature, so what does it matter if I was sexually abused by a sibling?
I don't remember a lot of things in my life from before age 12. Yet I can describe in painfully agonizing detail the first time I ever witnessed my sibling masturbate while watching a pornographic video.
I was 7 and they were 15. My experience with them gets far more graphic, but I'll spare you the details. Sufficed to say, all the way into puberty, I was this sibling's living sex toy.
Then with puberty came excessive sexual activity. I was not popular in school but a certain part of my body got all kinds of positive attention for me. So much so, that I identified myself by my wonderful male organ.
Adult life I went through many sexual partners, male and female. So long as they satisfied me sexually, that's all that mattered.
My first marriage was to a woman who was my sexual match. We married too young, too fast... so we didn't last.
Several sexual relationships ensued and I met my current wife, whom I've been with nearly 15 years. Never once have I cheated on this amazing woman.
At age 41, I'm supposed to be slowing down and having less of a libido right? I'm supposed to be the disinterested one, right?
I love my wife with every fiber of my being & will never stray from her. But mentally, psychologically, my sexual appetite and libido and near-compulsive masturbation .... constant sexual thoughts .... it wears me out. It literally makes me cry.
Can you relate? How do YOU cope? What advice can you offer me?
#Hypersexuality #libido #SexualAbuseSurvivors #SexualAbuse #ChildhoodSexualAbuse #SexualTrauma #Sexuality