I was wondering how is it like for those (us) with #BipolarDisorder experience this symptom (hypersexuality) is it the same for everyone? And how to deal with it?
P.S. is this a private post? No one out of The Mighty can see it?
I'm not really good at poetry but I like to try. Mostly I just like to write what I feel on paper. I wrote something here the other day. One of my poems that I had done a while ago on Mania it didn't receive any attention. I started to feel discouraged. Then I remembered what matters most is that I like my own stuff. Creativity is not a contest. The only person I have to please or compete with is myself. So I'm going to put another one here. To be like they're not like as people see fit. Oh and I have modified it from what it was. I have taken out some serious hard language and replace it with some things that are more innocent but still negative.
I got lost in hypersexuality
I thought love was touch
But then they left don't you see
I crawled into a belly of Shame
When do river could wash away
I stood in the rain in and prayed
Oh please God washed away
How meaningless, all valueless, how worthless
How empty where the hallways of my soul
I opened door after door to find the monster rage
Alone in the dark I would nurse my pain
Dark and ugly words spit forth from my mouth
How could you, why did you, you stupid fool
They use your body but care nothing of your pain
Love is not here, this isn't the way
So why do I continue with the same
One, two, three, four, my heart beats in time with the Rhythm, and my feet hit the floor An empty beat in time,can't take anymore. Blood pumping,racing,nerves vibrating standing inside pandora's door. No forwards, no backwards, feet Frozen heart pumping, can't beg or implore. I'm standing inside Pandora's door. One, two, three, four, my heart skips a beat in time, lost Rhythm and rhyme, with endless spaces of time. Laughing, spinning, twisting fate, Frozen feet on the floor inside Pandora's door. Somehow, I'll make the compromise, take the step, find the Rhythm, and dance once more despite opening Pandora's door. #Poetry #MightyPoets #Mania #hypomanic #BipolarDisorder #porechoices #ADHD #Addiction #AnxietyAttack #Hypersexuality
My partners in bed just aren’t aggressive enough. I know I’m probably having unhealthy sex, but I never feel satisfied, especially when my partner is gentle and “respectful”. My childhood trauma really has scarred me for life :( and I hate it because the only sexual relationships I seek are v dangerous, and if they don’t meet those qualifications I easily zone out and don’t enjoy at all. I hate it bc I’ve met some really nice guys who tries. Any advice?
I found out that the first five years he was cheating on me from day one. Three were actual long term relationships. He had no intention of stopping. All of the woman are also bipolar or have anxiety disorders. One of them told me everything. I always knew but the confirmation has been killing me for two years. I’ve found out so much and I’m obsessively searching for things I don’t really want to know. I have caught him in 100’s of lies. I’ve had depression most of my
Life but it’s been severe for the last 14 years since my husband left me with little kids for a 21 year old. I finally ended it but I fear being alone. That I’m unloveable. That I’ll never be enough. I just want someone make me understand so I can stop blaming myself.
I realized today, 5 days after having only 2 cups of coffee and a coke (a weird, unfortunate decision, as I usually Never have caffeine as it is a big trigger for me) that I’m hypomanic. I also had intense stress due to relationship issues, and having to spend a whole day stuck with my immediate family.
It’s “mild”, and was hard-ish to spot. But I noticed the signs. For me, the first one is stress induced intense sexual arousal. Yep. I totally said that. It’s a physical response that is terrifying and confusing. And it’s not anything that can be cured with sex or sex related activities, with or without a partner. The next is usually agitation. But I didn’t have that. The next is talking really fast. Which I only sort of had. Mostly it was a feeling of needing to get everything I said out as quickly as possible, not really taking breaths in between.
Another big first sign is that music sounds AMAZING. And colors are brighter. Everything looks intense and beautiful. Especially nature. I didn’t have either of those.
And my text messages to people get sooooooo long. That wasn’t really happening this time but check out the length of this post. 🙄. Then again I’m a writer and am just verbose. So I wasn’t sure.
And then last night I walked around at night for almost 2 hours on the phone at 10pm and talked to a friend the whole time. That maybe am could have not been it. And then I danced to music in my room for an hour. I used to be a dancer. I thought it was great. But it was intense.
I haven’t been able to exercise lately because I I have been depressed and I was thinking, “Amazing. What a relief. I’ll just do this every night and walk every night and then add a run during the day and then I’ll for sure be in shape enough to take my headshots [I’m an actor] in July. Shed that pandemic weight.”
And here I am this morning, thinking... yeah... I think this is it. I wasn’t just stressed. It was the f-ing caffeine. And stress. But mostly the caffeine.
It actually gave me heart pains two days ago, which is for me the start of panic attacks. (I took no-dose in college because I was told it was the same thing as coffee and ended up in the hospital because of an intense panic attack, so I reallllly can’t have it.) I’m no longer looking at my stress-related sexual arousal as something that could Not be related to bipolar. And the dancing. Eh... to music.
I’m really sad.
I have to be with my family Again this weekend. And I’m afraid it won’t calm down before then.
I have to go back up to the level of meds I was on before I lessened it with my doctor because I felt really groggy after an increase after I was feeling mildly hyper sexual another time. But the higher dose he gave me makes is almost impossible to cut the pills to get back to my original dose. And I don’t want to go back to feeling totally sluggish. Lamictal has been a Life Saver for me. I just don’t want to be too drugged up. #Bipolar2Disorder #Hypersexuality #BipolarDisorder
Managed to brush my teeth, make a coffee, only to end up back in bed. My flat feels empty since I moved here, it’s not done yet but mustering the energy to complete the painting & decorating is becoming a dreaded chore. hypersexuality is an issue today due to lack of it leads me to make impulsive decisions. I feel unloved, undesired. I can bet today will be a full day of altering myself before drinking and probably smoking, fake tanning, putting on layers of makeup, hair, wigs, nails, everything. I suppose I’m unsure of myself. I struggle with who I really am and settle for my favourite alter ego, tanned, sexy, blonde, better. #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Hypersexuality
Hi! I live with a dissociative disorder where my identity is basically in fragments, but not quite defined with specific age/names. Some of these fragments think and feel like a child. I’ll range from being really babyish with limited knowledge, to being more competent like an elementary schooler. It’s all pretty vague. It’s also dependent on the presence of my psychosis/mood symptoms, as well as stress and trauma. Weirdly hormones can play a role too. Anyway I would really love to have a pal for when I am “little”. I find myself craving affection/being nurtured/cared for. For the most part I talk very cuddly and innocently. **Just looking for ppl who can accommodate that in a conversation without being judgemental of my disorder**. I am not really embarrassed by the age regression, mainly because I’m too delusional to care. And I’d like to keep it that way, so please be kind. Feel free to direct message me on here, all anonymous and non attachment of course. Just some comforting chit-chat here and there would be great. P.S. I am not always in touch with reality.
#dissociativedisorders #osdd #Dissociation #MoodDisorders #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #schizoaffectivebipolar #SchizophreniaSpectrum #SuicidalIdeation #Trauma #severedepression #Chat #CheckInWithMe #MentalIllnessStigma #talktome #little #DepressiveDisorders #EatingDisorders #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Hypersexuality #HypersensitivitySyndrome #ADHD