So I went to look up how to decrease suicidal ideation, then found this app. Since I've been having suicidal ideation a lot for the past few months. Mostly passive but they were really high yesterday. I have a lot of trauma, have been emotionally abused.
I'm in a PHP program and I just wanna get better, even tho I constantly feel awful about myself since I've been with a narcassitic abuser for 5 years. I cut him off a few months ago, so my mental health just spiraled. I also thought I was over him since we broke up in 2019, but remained friends until recently. But I wasn't over him, I still loved him. I just suppressed it. Was pretty obvious too since I got jealous, constantly wanted to please him and was obsessed with him. Was not healthy but I was able to cut him off.
I really just wanna be happy with myself again after dealing with all his invalidation for so long. I just feel worthless. Like nobody is gonna want me even in a platonic relationship.
This group is now a private- full privacy- group!
Hi, new here.
How do you post successfully? I posted and can't find it anywhere? Thanks. #New
I’m in the process of creating new habits like exercising , eating healthier and adding creativity to my daily routine.
6 months ago I found myself driving myself to the emergency room instead of going to work . I knew my thoughts were out of control and calling to talk to a supportive friend wasn’t going to cut it anymore.
I have a beautiful life and with undiagnosed mental illness I’ve never been able to enjoy a minute of happiness ( I couldn’t even describe what that felt like) .
Since a young age I’ve always felt something wasn’t right but no one had a answer for me . I’ve been clean and sober for 18 yrs with the help of 12 step programs and alot of hard work . My life is very blessed now .
Untreated mental illness almost killed me . I went to the emergency room in tears asking for help , I hadn’t felt that much desperation since the day I cleaned up 18 yrs ago .
I was admitted and spent 2 weeks in the hospital and for once a dr agreed that I had more going on than just anxiety.
The combination of medication I’m on works . I get to feel hope .
These medications come with some side effects like weight gain . I’ve gained so much weight it’s almost depressing ( I use the term almost because I know what real depression feels like and this isn’t that) .
I looked at myself in the mirror and cried angry tears . I finally get to feel good about life but the trade off is this …. Fat . That’s the word I’m using to describe myself. Why can’t I just win for once in my life ?
The truth is I’ve won a lot of battles including this one . With having my mental health in check I have the ability to make positive changes like creating a exercise routine and changed eating habits . My years of untreated mental illness had me with some terrible routines and barely eating at all and sleeping most of the time .
I can get through this with patience knowing it’s going to take time to see results. This won’t be a instant gratification of immediate results but I’m willing to do extra to win this new challenge.
Hi idk how this app works because I'm new here.
But hi to yall how you guys doing? #New