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Dazed and Confused

Lately, I’ve been in this period of feeling confused about myself, my values, and my relationships with people. I’ve come to realize that for a long time there was always a push and pull between me and the world. I don’t love loudly- I’m quite reserved, so I’ve often admired many from afar or I’ve admired privately between myself and the other person. But after a while, I become distant and aloof, not out of contempt, but I feel I need to leave for a while. I feel bad that I do this, but something inside me tells me that I have to do it. On the other side of the coin, it hurts me a lot when someone leaves. If I don’t see them for one day, not only do I feel deeply hurt, but angry. Then I’ll see them again and turn around and forgive because I don’t want them to leave me the way that they did again. But I’ve often wondered why I even bother sometimes. Even though my fears aren’t rational in any way, feeling confused and conflicted are how I feel when I actually think things over. If I had the perfect language to pit all of my thoughts into words, I could write a whole book about it. In the end, I wish it was easy to express how I feel verbally, but I can’t. #MentalHealth #confused #feelingaloneandlost #Dazedandconfused #Thoughts #identitydisturbance #FearOfAbandonment #abandonmentissues #Irrationalthoughts #hurt #anger #dontleaveme


“My Rage” #bipolarrage

My rage is like a thunderstorm with isolated storms
My rage comes across like a tornado just before it pours
I get angry and the dog in me wants a fight
I challenge you all to prove my might
My rage turn quick like a twister
My rage makes you not even want to whisper
I turn to a kid and say go home
Just before a bullet whizzes past his dome
You wake up and realize, it’s just a bad dream
Just before you realize you are playing for the wrong team. ##Dazedandconfused