bipolarrage

A violent storm is brewing
A breeze runs through the trees
But it does not cool me
Thunder booms loudly
I cannot hear my thoughts clearly
A blot of lighting cracks across the sky
Dark vengeful clouds gather above me
Rain beings to fall
At first steadily
But it's coming down faster and harder
With every step I take
I need to find shelter
I am still so very far from home
Lost in the squall
Until it passes
And blue skies return

#BipolarDisorder #Bipolar1Disorder #BipolarDepression #Rage #bipolarrage

How do you all work through your bipolar rage? I feel as though mine is getting worse and I’m having a harder time controlling my urges to lash out, break something, or hurt myself. I do not self harm, but in those moments of bipolar rage, I’m scared that I would. #Bipolar #BipolarDisorder #bipolarrage #livingwithbipolar

Why don't we tell each other this stuff? Why am I embarrassed? This isn't a weakness or a character flaw. I guess we just assume people will think it is. I started getting these rages a couple years ago. They scare me because I feel so close to out of control. If you have any words of comfort or if you can relate, would you let me know? #bipolarrage

Hey all,

I've only recently started coming out of my first Manic episode (I'm 31yrs old) where rage was front and center. I was unpredictable, uncontrollable, uncontainable and my loved ones were often the target. Verbal abuse was my weapon and I attacked with a fury straight out of hell itself. Most of these anger episodes are a big blur to me, but my loved ones have helped me remember my behavior during my Mania.

I should note that I asked them to do this so that I could tell my psychiatrist. I want to try and understand what happened to me. I want to know what to look out for and learn ways to spot the boiling pot before it boils over.

What I clearly remember is the rage I felt. It was unlike anything I've ever experienced and it terrified me. I didn't know what was happening to me, but I couldn't stop it. I knew I was losing control during my anger episodes, I knew my grip was slipping, but knowing that only made my anger more hysterical and NOT knowing where it was coming from and what to do about it made it more chaotic.

I was put on an antipsychotic about 4 months ago and it really has been helpful keeping the fury at bay, but that still doesn't mean I don't want to know other ways of coping with it. I don't want to just depend on medication, I want to know I can depend on myself too.

Has anyone else diagnosed with Bipolar 1 (or bipolar 2) dealt with Bipolar Rage? I've read that "rage" isn't a symptom of Bipolar disorder but I call "bully" on that!

Anyone else's experiences or advice would be deeply appreciated and most welcomed 💚

Love,
-D

#Mania #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar1Disorder #bipolarmania #BipolarDepression #Bipolar2Disorder #bipolarrage #bipolaranger #AngerManagement

I woke up angry again,
I woke up not knowing why

I went to bed calm.. And woke up angry again

I was relaxing and then I got frustrated which turned to rage.

This is no ordinary anger. This is blood boiling, can't think, miserable, makes my muscles twitch, say things I don't mean and brings out the worst evil in me anger.

I woke up angry again, and maybe it took an hour to get out of bed...
But hey I GOT OUT OF BED!
So I take my meds, take my shower, *oh no* the water pressures low and for some reason getting cold. Well, I'm angry again. Blood boiling hitting the tile, punching my thigh, screaming into my towel, hurting my hand mad.

I woke up scared today and confused. I have energy, I'm talkative, getting shit done, cleaning, making my phone calls, making plans I won't keep, spending money..
Oh I guess i'm manic today. Yay.

I wake up every morning not knowing what is going to come out of me, what my mood will be, how many mood swings will I have today, and importantly will I have another panic attack today?

I wake up, *shit I have work*, I'm angry again, I'm overwhelmed, I'm shaking, I can't concentrate.... Shit I have work today.
*should I call off?whats my excuse going to be?*

Living daily life with bipolar depression can feel like living hell. I'm tired. These frequent mood swings exhaust me. I struggle to work part time. I isolate from friends and family. I feel ashamed I have almost no control over my own self. Which of course nobody in my life understands that.. And trying to explain the thoughts and feelings inside your self that you don't even fully understand is an impossible task just a pointless waste of energy.

Before bed I prayed that someday soon this becomes easier.

I woke up angry again today...
Because I'm still alive

*oh no* I woke up soo depressed today... I can't move... I'm tired.... I can't talk... I can't think... I'm crying... I want to be alone and never move again.

I woke up upset today
Even though I begged God to put me out of my misery..

I woke up angry again,
I wake up angry because I have to face another day with my mental health being the worst it's ever been. Not wanting to be alive yet forced to take care of others and work and be "normal" even tho inside I'm losing it and giving up.

Anyone else just wake up angry for no reason?
Yes I take my meds
No they don't help
I have mixed episodes every single day for a couple months now and I'm at the breaking point.

My rage is like a thunderstorm with isolated storms
My rage comes across like a tornado just before it pours
I get angry and the dog in me wants a fight
I challenge you all to prove my might
My rage turn quick like a twister
My rage makes you not even want to whisper
I turn to a kid and say go home
Just before a bullet whizzes past his dome
You wake up and realize, it’s just a bad dream
Just before you realize you are playing for the wrong team. ##Dazedandconfused

Does anyone with Bipolar Disorder find that when they are about to snap that they have delayed vision and lapses in hearing? If so how do you cope?

One of the biggest issues I still face even after being diagnosed with bipolar I three years ago, is my inability to control my rage. A few times a month I get so angry it hurts. My limbs ache and become unbearably restless. I get tightness in my chest and usually a pounding headache. Then all I want to do is tear my own eyes out. I also tend to be more susceptible to cutting. Does anyone else experience anything like this? #BipolarDisorder #bipolarrage #Selfharm

I’m so tired... I was diagnosed ADHD 2 years ago when my son was 5 months old. It felt like the light shone down and I’d be OK. Like all my problems were solved by knowing what was ‘wrong’ with me.
The original referral was for Bipolar (which terrified me) so I felt a huge sense of relief that it was ‘only adhd’
Now I’m not kidding myself anymore... I know I’m bipolar. The signs are ridiculously obvious. I’m fucking up my life again. I have all this debt to pay off AGAIN!! Ffs.
I had an abortion a year ago. I didn’t want it but I miss that baby so much. The decision was just out of my hands because mentally I couldn’t even make a sound decision... the ‘dad’ was/is a motherfuckeringc**nt too so 🤷🏼‍♀️
I counted 10 months of suicidal depression. Non stop feeling like I can’t even get out of bed unless I’d had like 2 coffees and a big fat wakenbake.
Weed has been my only savior.
I started dating my best friend of 10 years. We’re so happy together yet I feel so much guilt that when we have more kids I’ll fuck them up with my head and shit genetics.
Psychiatrists are so expensive and hard to find a decent one... my original psych was so rushed he really DGAF.
I don’t even know what to do anymore.
I rage.
I have no patience some days.
Don’t even try telling me to calm down or cheer up because it just makes me feel shittier that I just CANT some days.
I’m 27 with a beautiful 2.5 year old and all I want to do is end it so I don’t fuck up everyone else around me.
I quit my study. I can’t work much. How the hell am I supposed to be a decent adult??! #BipolarDisorder #bipolarrage #ADHD