degenerative disease

Hello. I am new here. I'm hoping The Mighty and the groups within will be a help for me. And as soon as I get more familiar with it, I hope that my sharing will help others as well. I've struggled with mental wellness for as far as I can remember and am at a point in my life, with chronic pain issues mixed in, where it has become the most disruptive to daily living than it ever has before. I feel like every day is a fight, mentally and physically. I've decided to take time to look within and try to learn and hopefully, discover what changes are appropriate to make or things I can do to cope on the days when I feel all I am capable of is breathing. I call those days my dark days and there are more of them than not. It was alarming to me when I realized I was defining it a good day when at least part of it wasn't so dark. It has lead me to feeling ashamed, guilty, and worthless. My husband is supportive, however I don't like to share too much with him, about how big my struggle has become and what I go through, because I feel like I'm being a burden and don't want to bring him any worry or stress, as well as be a negative existence in his life. So I hide how bad I feel most of the time, which isn't easy. I'm a currently, non-practicing nurse, a wife, a mother to 4 grown children, and a grandmother to 12. I am very blessed, however I feel like I'm extremely falling short of being the best I can be to my family. And it's been hard to play a very active role in their lives for a while now. I almost panic when I have to interact for any length of time and get overwhelmed quite easily. The physical problems are contributing as well, and I can't help but wonder if they have been produced by my mental health issues. I think that about sums it up. Thank you for "listening". #ChronicDepression #Anxiety #Fibromyalgia #Osteoarthritis #DegenerativeDisease #PeripheralNeuropathy #CarpalTunnelSyndrome