Dependent Personality Disorder

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Dependent Personality Disorder
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    Is this manipulative or am I thinking too much?

    I am in hospital after overdosing on my psychiatric medicines. It was because of a few events that upsets me, and I got triggered after I try to seek console from my mother and she reply coldly that she cannot do anything to help me. I think she was upset with me because I bring up a mistake that she made but she insist that she didn’t do anything wrong. Usually she would visit me at the hospital. Today my father and younger sister are all free from work, my mother is a housewife. But they went out together and even dine at a restaurant. They posted photos of themselves in the family WhatsApp group. They did not visit me or even give me a text. Yes we live together and they are all aware I’m in hospital. I have a feeling my mother put them up to it because my father and younger sister always listens to her. Is this manipulation? Or am I overthinking?

    I try to ignore it but I still cried. Thoughts of harming myself comes to my mind because I’m upset. They always come to me when they need help. I was also always generous in spending money on them.

    Is kinship really such fragile and meaningless?

    #Depression #anxiety #socialanxiety#anxietydisorder #socialanxietydisorder #dependentpersonalitydisorder #paranoidpersonalitydisorder #avoidantpersonalitydisorder #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #psychosis #psychoticdisorder #delusionaldisorder #autismspectrumdisorder #mentalhealth #selfcare #memes

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    Is he lier? Scared.

    Got really scared and cried because I think my current psychiatrist has been lying to me. We have the consultation via video call weekly, and he has been promising me a memo for weeks. I requested the memo as a written explanation of why the hospital banned me from seeing my previous psychiatrist one year ago. He’s aware that I wrote a complaint to the ministry for the ban. I intend to use the memo as supporting document in case the hospital twist their words again. Maybe I sound schizophrenic or delusional because I talk suspiciously about the hospital and doctors, but many of their actions have really made me unable to trust them again. It’s difficult to list out everything they have said and done because the issue has been throughout a whole one year. So two weeks ago, he read the memo to me in the video call, and said he would get his assistant to email me a copy. I broke down and cry because the reasons given are so ridiculous and I felt scared and bullied by them. I told him I would still proceed to pursue the case with the ministry. Last week, I told him I did not receive the email for the memo and he claim that the service quality department have took over the case and mailed out the memo to my address. Nope, I didn’t receive it at all. I have a feeling he’s just trying to delay things. It’s worrying because I read about an online feedback about this particular psychiatrist before, the patient wrote that this psychiatrist kept changing his words about the treatment plan and refuse to admit it. There are many reasons in my head about why he and the hospital would have such behaviours towards me, but at the same time I don’t understand why they would treat me those ways because I’m just a nobody and there’s nothing to gain? And I thought medical staffs are kind people? I’m even more worried because he diagnosed me ASD, after I told him and laughed about another psychiatrist giving me the ASD diagnosis. He immediately stopped all my other medicines and only left me with 25mg quetiapine for sleep, and I have been having break downs a lot. Yes, he did let me fill up the autism related questionnaires and I got 29 out of 50, and he said it meant ‘strong autistic traits’. But I’m not confident in him or the questionnaires, and he mentioned this diagnosis can explain why I was so persistent about going back to the previous psychiatrist. Are they trying to label me with Autism so that they can use it against me, to explain to the ministry that I’m complaining because I’m autistic and unable to adapt to changes? To make my complaint look irrational and ‘just a symptom of ASD’?

    #depression #anxiety #SocialAnxiety #AnxietyDisorder #socialanxietydisorder #dependentpersonalitydisorder #paranoidpersonalitydisorder #avoidantpersonalitydisorder #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #delusionaldisorder #autismspectrumdisorder #mentalhealth #selfcare #memes


    ASD vs INFP

    Why ASD?
    Could it be I’m just an INFP + Pisces?
    Plus some social anxieties?

    Well, sorry if I sound stupid/arrogant to you… I just don’t feel liberated with the ASD label… This is so worrying!

    #depression #anxiety #socialanxiety #anxietydisorder #socialanxietydisorder #dependentpersonalitydisorder #paranoidpersonalitydisorder #avoidantpersonalitydisorder #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #psychosis #psychoticdisorder #delusionaldisorder #autismspectrumdisorder #mentalhealth #selfcare #memes

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    Hope you’ll have a fantastic day, and days and days!

    There are people I really can’t forgive but still…
    *writes everybody’s name in the notebook*

    #Depression #anxiety #socialanxiety#anxietydisorder #socialanxietydisorder #dependentpersonalitydisorder #paranoidpersonalitydisorder #avoidantpersonalitydisorder #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #psychosis #psychoticdisorder #delusionaldisorder #autismspectrumdisorder #mentalhealth #selfcare #memes

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    People Anger. People Angels.

    I’ve been feeling very angry at people. Some people say they’re just saying the ‘truth’ but honestly, that’s your perspective of what is the truth, nobody exactly knows everything, you don’t either, and we all know that you just feel free to express your whatever ‘facts’ because you know you can’t be held liable for them when things goes wrong. Some people make others upset, and when the victims express that they’re upset, people turn around and question them about why they create dramas and preach about letting go and moving on, like why don’t you move on from my ‘drama’ then? Sometimes I just wish these people can just stay away from me, go hang out with people like themselves, they can suffer at each other’s hands, that’s the perfect ending for them.

    But then there are these people… Those of you, who are simply Angels! No words can express how much I appreciate your existence! Thank you for all you have done, and not done! If you meet such people, you’re really lucky, please treat them well!

    #depression #anxiety #socialanxiety#anxietydisorder #socialanxietydisorder #dependentpersonalitydisorder #paranoidpersonalitydisorder #avoidantpersonalitydisorder #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #psychosis #psychoticdisorder #delusionaldisorder #autismspectrumdisorder #mentalhealth #selfcare #memes


    Low self-esteem or real inadequacy?

    Last night I called a helpline to talk, because I was crying too much. I told her I feel that I am born inadequate to live in this world. She immediately rephrased it as “low self-esteem”. When I was a small child, I had Asthma and some heart problem, and always need to be admitted in the hospital. I’m not sure what it is called, but in layman term, the doctor said there’s a hole in my heart, and my heartbeat sound different from the normal people. And suddenly I grew up, and I don’t need to go to hospital anymore, I’m not sure if it was cured or not. But I feel that it was a hint, a hint that I am not born suitable for this world. I don’t want to go through all the ‘sufferings’ that people say are ‘part of life’. If life is as such, then I don’t want life all together, there’s no point. I’m just thinking, how do you differentiate low self-esteem and real inadequacy? What if I’m really inadequate for life?

    #Depression #anxiety #socialanxiety#anxietydisorder #socialanxietydisorder #dependentpersonalitydisorder #paranoidpersonalitydisorder #avoidantpersonalitydisorder #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #psychosis #psychoticdisorder #delusionaldisorder #autismspectrumdisorder #mentalhealth #selfcare #memes


    A nightmare

    Had a nightmare: A bunch of doctors are going to open my skull and do some brain surgery. They gave me something to sleep but I couldn’t sleep. I heard the sound of the saw cutting into my skull, but I don’t feel the pain.

    Been having a lot of nightmares recently.

    #depression #anxiety #socialanxiety#anxietydisorder #socialanxietydisorder #dependentpersonalitydisorder #paranoidpersonalitydisorder #avoidantpersonalitydisorder #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #psychosis #psychoticdisorder #delusionaldisorder #autismspectrumdisorder #mentalhealth #selfcare #memes

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    Effective Coping Strategies in Recovery ❤️‍🩹

    For all those whom keep going each day and using

    healthier coping strategies, and for all those on their

    healing journey.

    Be proud of yourself!

    ‘A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step’.

    - Lao Tzu