Personality Disorders

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Personality Disorders
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    I’m new here!

    Hi, my name is zerowon. . I have been diagnosed with CPTSD, and adjustment disorder, and I have substance use disorder, but I'm undiagnosed but show a lot of symptoms of high functioning schizoid, along with some borderline tendencies. I have been learning a lot about mental health in general over the last 4 years in terms of personality disorders and other related health issues. I have written about it on Quora and a Medium. I'm interested in finding out more about getting diagnosed properly, as well as what exactly is going on. some more information on each of the disorders as well to be more informed how I realize that they're different terminologies for the disorders depending on where you're from and what location and whatnot I'd like to learn how some of the other areas handle the defining of a disorder. Then I'd also like to learn more about some of the disorders that some of the previous people I've been with had to better understand their experience and how I might help them in the future.

    #MightyTogether #PTSD #Depression #Anxiety #Grief


    What personality disorders are manipulative?

    Antisocial personality disorder,

    Borderline personality disorder,

    Conduct Disorder,

    Factitious disorder,

    Histrionic personality disorder,

    Narcissistic personality disorder

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    Finally starting to heal from decades of chronic C-PTSD #complexposttraumaticstressdisorder #hsp #depression #anxiety #conqueryourmind

    This quote is from this video I watched as a tenacious cub grappled to get to the top of this mountain. What this cub had was a patient and encouraging mama bear. I didn’t I had toxic emotionally unavailable narcissistic parents.

    I think of the years as I climbed out of dark holes only to fall back in time and time again. It’s taken me decades to fully learn how C-PTSD has impacted every part of my life. The ignorance from the majority of the mental health system failed over and over to identify and acknowledge the reality of living with c-ptsd. Some have been studying early developmental trauma and have known it’s insidious depths and they were been ignored by the governing bodies or whoever has the power acknowledging existing conditions. As far as I know C-PTSD still isn’t in the DSM.
    It’s not in there I believe as it probably is the true diagnosis for many above mood disorders such as bipolar and personality disorders such as borderline. I mention this because it took me years to learn how many symptoms mimic each other and most mental health professionals never bother to to try and determine when this is the case.
    I’ve only starting to find more knowledge and understanding from Gabor Mate (When the Body Says No, Myth of Normal), Daniel Siegel (Mindsight), Bessel Van Der Kolk (The Body Keeps Score), Pete Walker (Complex PTSD - From Surviving to Thriving), Peter Levine (Healing Trauma: Restoring the Wisdom of Your Body), Deb Dana (Anchored - How to befriend your nervous system), and Diane Poole-Heller (Healing Your Attachment Wounds). There is more but these resources helped me understand “me”. Now there is so much more that’s tying all this together, but the information has been there for years and in my opinion purposefully ignored. The mental health system for decades pathologises patients with a label and then only subcibes medications. While in cases of crisis this can be helpful but it nowhere near get to the heart of what many of us are dealing with.
    Decades of chronic emotional trauma takes it toll when not treated. The fact we can be triggered and retraumatized on a daily basis takes it toll. For me it’s felt like being dismissed just because I only have minor cuts all over my body that are not life threatening but keep getting reopened and continue to bleed. Just because it’s not a large gapping wound I’m just left to suffer on my own.
    So for the past few years I’ve had to learn and teach myself but feel I suffered so much more then I needed to because the mental health system is so screwed. So many health professionals have no trauma awareness training at all. This includes psychiatrists and therapists. It boggles my mind. My last therapist I fired as he finally admitted he had little knowledge of trauma he was only trained in psychodynamic psychotherapy. He was a retired doctor on top of that and he had no training or true understanding of emotional trauma. Ridiculous!!!:
    I finally figured out on my own that I was born with the #hsp trait to toxic emotionally unavailable parents who emotionally abused me my whole life. From this I became a disorganized insecure avoidant person. This is how I show up in the world. Which almost seems ironic that an emotionally sensitive, highly sensory person can also be an dissociated from their emotions and this has control my life. This is what has screwed me up and has impacted every area of my life. Why I had extreme low self esteem, shame and chronic self judgement. This is not stuff you get over with mind over matter thinking. It’s not my fault I chose to be this way.
    I found some online groups who acknowledge and validates the ongoing struggles of adult children who grow up in dysfunctional homes and the life long burdens of legacy we have to navigate through. Also other groups that use Internal Family Systems (IFS - Richard Schwartz - No Bad Parts) to help explore how fragmented the emotional trauma made me. Without this I would still be lost in shame and isolation that there was just something so fundamentally wrong with me and helpless and hopeless to fix.
    With the right awarenesses and supports I’m learning I can heal even if it a long and difficult path where I may still fall and slide back down. I just now know I have the resilience like the tenacious cub in the video.


    Men and Mental Health

    Part 2 of 2 ce abuse is a treatable form of mental illness. Personality disorders also have a high rate of violence; there are no medications for personality disorders. The only treatment for #PersonalityDisorders is therapy, though patients often have concurrent diagnoses. While some prescribed psychiatric drugs may increase hostility, there are many other substances that do this, so we should not attribute aggressive acts to one category of medications.  We must work to end the stigma and fear of psychiatric care to best serve our society by increasing understanding and awareness of the facts.

    Coping While Maintaining Masculinity

    I have frequently participated in self-help Facebook groups, all women. I have never seen a social media post about self-care for men. Here are some ideas to cope without feeling less manly:

    Join a men’s bible study, health or support group.
    Get adequate rest, not just nightly sleep, but also restful activities that you enjoy such as: reading for pleasure, writing in a journal, watching an entertaining movie, taking a midday nap, or petting/playing with your pet.
    Take time for fun activities: fishing, cooking, playing an instrument, or going to a restaurant, concert, or sporting event.
    While it is important to go to family events and activities, do not miss out on regular date nights with your spouse/significant other.
    Moms often remind other moms that we have to take care of ourselves to be able to best take care of our families- the same goes for dads. Remember, that taking care of yourself is the most important thing the head of the household can do for the whole household.

    We must be cognizant of the need for mental health care in men. The expression of depression in men can differ from women. While aggressive acts can be a sign of depression in men, many are afraid to become more aggressive by taking psychiatric medication. Studies have shown that there is a greater benefit to receiving mental health care than the risks associated with not getting professional treatment. We can alleviate these fears by normalizing the conversations about mental health care for men. This conversation should include ways men can cope without feeling less masculine; just as the foundation of a home should be strong so should the men in our society have solid foundations in their mental and emotional wellbeing.

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    How does BPD affect your self-esteem?

    From feelings of worthlessness to high levels of motivation, we know BPD can affect self-esteem and self-worth in many different ways (both good and bad).

    How has your self-esteem been most negatively impacted by your BPD? How has it been most positively impacted? Share with us in the comments below. ⬇️

    #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #MentalHealth #PersonalityDisorders #CheckInWithMe #Depression #Anxiety


    Mental Health and Awareness Campaigns

    Part 1 of 2 There certainly are a lot of mental health campaigns going on. There’s one or more in every month. Most of these are “awareness” days, which is a little bit confusing. People who already have the assorted disorders are already aware of them, as are probably their families and perhaps their friends.

    When it comes to awareness, though, most non-affected people (or people who don’t realize they are affected) find out about them through TV commercials – during Men’s Health Month, in ads for medications, or from organizations like the Wounded Warriors Project. There may be local events, too, but I haven’t seen any in my area. I don’t even see much of anything on my Facebook timeline, even though my friends list contains a lot of people with mental health concerns. I note that there isn’t a Women’s Mental Health Month, even though most people who receive treatment for mental illnesses are women. (There are many, many special days not related to mental health that I knew nothing of until I started to research this post, such as World Animal Road Accident Awareness Day, Insect Repellent Awareness Day, and even Spider-Man Day.)

    Here’s what I did find.


    Mental Wellness Month


    Children’s Mental Health Week

    International Boost Self-Esteem Month

    National School Counseling Week

    National Eating Disorders Week


    Self-Harm Awareness Month

    Brain Injury Awareness Month

    World Bipolar Day (which I had never heard of, despite being bipolar myself)


    National Stress Awareness Month

    National Counseling Awareness Month


    Mental Health Awareness Month

    National Maternal Depression Month

    National Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness Month

    Tourette Awareness Month (May into June)

    Children’s Mental Health Awareness Week


    PTSD Awareness Month

    Men’s Mental Health Month


    International Self-Care Day

    BIPOC (or Minority) Mental Health Month


    National Grief Awareness Day


    World Suicide Prevention Day (and National Week and Month)


    World Mental Health Day

    National Depression and Mental Health Screening Month

    ADHD Awareness Week

    OCD Awareness Week


    National Family Caregivers Month

    International Stress Awareness Week

    International Survivors of Suicide Day


    International Day of Persons With Disabilities

    National Stress-Free Family Holidays Month

    So, how are people made aware of most of these various disorders? By people wearing different colors of ribbons that correspond to them. The idea, I guess, is to prompt people to ask, “What is that silver ribbon for?” and to be told, “It’s for Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness.” If the person inquires further, it’s a chance to educate them, but most people don’t ask at all or ask only what the color means.

    There are only a couple of colored ribbons that everyone knows the meaning of – yellow and pink. The yellow ribbon campaign was started in 1979 to show support for persons held hostage in Iran, but now means support for the Armed Forces. The pink ribbon for the Breast Cancer Awareness campaign started in 1991 and is probably the most successful ribbon awareness symbol there is.

    Here are the colors of various ribbons and what #MentalHealth concerns they are intended to promote awareness of.

    Peach – Invisible Illness

    Yellow – Suicide Prevention

    Periwinkle blue – Anorexia Nervosa

    Teal – Agoraphobia, Anxiety Disorders, Dissociative Identity Disorder, OCD, Tourette Syndrome, Stress Disorders, Social Anxiety Disorder, PTSD, Panic Disorder

    Green – Mental Health, Bipolar Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder

    Lime green – Mood Disorders, Psychosis, Depression, Mental Illness, Postpartum Depression, Childhood Depression, Maternal Mental Health

    Purple – Binge Eating Disorder, Bulimia Nervosa, Eating Disorders, Caregiver Appreciation

    Purple and Teal – Suicide, Survivors of Suicide, Family Members of Suicide

    Gray – Personality Disorders

    Orange – ADHD, ADD, Self-Harm

    Silver – Borderline Personality Disorder

    So now you know what color ribbon to wear and what month to wear it in. I hope that if you do, people will ask about it and allow you to expand on what it means. I don’t expect that, however. Almost no one has ever asked me about my semicolon tattoo for Suicide Prevention and Awareness. (I occasionally get to explain it if I point it out to them.)

    Probably the most effective reminders are t-shirts that ident


    The Stigma around BPD is Life-Threatening

    In wake of the Depp v Heard defamation trial, stigma around BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and personality disorders in general, particularly cluster B, is more prevalent than ever. Misinformation ravaged Twitter as Heard’s apparent diagnosis of BPD and HPD (Histrionic Personality Disorder) after an assessment by a psychologist (Dr Curry) hired by Depp. Many saw this as the root of what Depp claimed was abuse from Amber Heard.  However, it certainly isn’t new. When I was first diagnosed, my psychiatrist was reluctant to tell me my diagnosis. After I pushed him, he told me “I’m diagnosing you with Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder, but don’t go doing internet research, there’s a lot of misinformation out there.”

    Curious, I went against advice and entered the BPD internet sphere with innocence. I searched for support networks in the forms of forums, podcasts etc, and although I found a small array of supportive and positive groups, a large handful of online groups and content actively villainised the disorder. This was something I’d never seen before when searching for support for other diagnoses such as ADHD and depression.  On Spotify, I searched for a podcast that would be easy for my family to listen to and understand the condition, but instead stumbled upon a show entitled ‘Surviving BPD Relationship Breakups’ with a trauma recovery coach as the host, as if a relationship with someone with BPD is an inherently traumatic experience that the non-sufferer has to ‘survive’.

    In my search for a book to help me self-manage my BPD, I came across the interesting title ‘Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking your life back when someone you love has Borderline Personality Disorder’ because obviously all of us borderlines are life-sucking demons. This seemingly common rhetoric even amongst psychologists and counsellors, those who are supposed to be helping those struggling the most, is dangerously harmful for a disorder that already afflicts a person with extreme low self-worth and distorted self-identity. Research has concluded that approximately 70% of people with BPD will attempt suicide at least once in their lifetime, with 10% succeeding – a rate higher than any other psychiatric disorder. It’s surprising that this doesn’t seem to arouse much sympathy.

    One particularly concerning network that’s well known by those with BPD communicating in the online sphere, is the Reddit forum r/BPDLovedOnes. Don’t let the title fool you, there’s no space for love or support on this forum and if you have Personality Disorder I would strongly advise you to refrain from going down this particular rabbit hole.  The forum is an echo chamber of misinformed, ableist hatred, with thousands of users venting and discussing very often undiagnosed people with BPD or ‘pwBPD’ in their group slang (or upwBPD if the user disclaims the subject of their rant hasn’t been diagnosed).  Often people post about abusive or toxic partners whom they claim have BPD on the evidence of their behaviour. The forum self identifies as an abuse support forum, which isn’t inherently problematic, yet members tie any of their experiences to an illness that in which abusive behaviour is not symptomatic. When checking the subreddit for this article, the most recent post was entitled, “I hate Borderline Personality Disorder”. How do they think we feel?

    Often, users share screenshots or arguments with their partner without consent, who is usually in a clear state of emotional distress, whilst commenters humiliate and pick apart this individual they don’t even know.  For a vulnerable person, the consequences are possibly life-threatening. The posts alone are deeply triggering, and so I cannot imagine finding out that your partner or loved one posts rants about their hatred for you and your disorder for thousands of people to see. I would implore Reddit to ban this so-called community from sharing anymore hateful misinformation and ableism on their platform.

    Thankfully, there are also a plethora of supportive forums on Reddit and other sites, such as r/BPDsupport, r/BPDmemes (if you’re in the mood for some self-aware humour), and r/DBTSelfHelp. I would also recommend the podcast Back from the Borderline, which is available on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

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    Fantastic Farm

    This homestead was amazing. It still had all of the out buildings and most of them were still upright. When I was pulling in the driveway, this capture caught my attention. It turned out to be one of my best beginner pics ever.
















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    Hobby and Passion

    My hobby is photography, specifically old farms and homesteads. It's my passion. I get to drive with soft music playing, cruising the back roads to see what I can find. Coming upon a new place and getting butterflies in my stomach; what will I find?