Mark Twain said that the secret source of humor isn’t joy it’s sadness.. I should be killing it in stand up I’m so sad.. life is so brutally challenging I’m so ground down.. and having my semiannual oncologist visit isn’t helping the mood #cowdens #Caregiver #HealthCare #Work #Lonesome
After years of fibro evolving I have tried to accept my lot. I’ve dieted, exercised, gone to school, been motivated - but with this quarantine I think I’m sliding downhill. I’m Seeing a pattern... two weeks of misery every month. Then two weeks of energy spikes with one or two down days in those weeks. I’ve tried Learning to embrace the good days and rest on the bad ones, but starting to see more bad days each month makes me worry that it’s just gonna get worse and worse and I’ll never be fully me again. I’m an energizer bunny, I’m a doer. I hate feeling limited. I hate not being able to go walk the dog, I hate being lonely, I hate gaining weight due to lack of activity so many days a month. Then I feel unattractive, then I feel lonely, then I recluse and it just gets worse- all while my body aches and tells me to go back to bed ((but I can’t cuz I have children who depend on me and a husband who is dealing with health issues too). Wishing I could be ‘normal’.....
#Fibromyalgia #spoonielife #downinthedumps
I usually look forward to holidays but now that the kids are older, it's not the same. Loved ones have passed and no one gets together anymore. This is the most depressing Christmas I have ever had. #SOSAD #downinthedumps #depressed
I had a bit of a breakdown at the beginning of the year but slowly ive been rebuilding my life and ive been doing so well. All my support workers and doctors were really pleased with my progress and things were finally going well. But now i feel like I’m going back downhill again. Our offices have just moved so instead of a half hour/45 minute journey it now takes me an hour and a half each way (that’s if I’m lucky), work is just proper shit and I just find myself thinking about self harming again. As if that isn’t bad enough I’m back to taking risks with things as I just don’t care anymore. My health isn’t great at the best of times so I’m always knackered and now I’m doing 14 hour days and I’m absolutely shattered all the time. I’m looking for a new job but I need help in the meantime #downinthedumps
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