Since getting ill I've had to let a lot go, but it wasn't until I was finally diagnosed that I realized how many things I'd let go, that I'd never gain back. And that there was a lot more I had to consider when making large decisions like school, work, projects I take on as a mother, member of my community or for my employer. This last year with Covid I've given up the most! One of them being my job. While my leaving was only temporary, as I approach a year, I feel like I'll never return. Between Covid and the use of immunosuppressant drugs, homeschooling four kids and my declining health, the idea of returning looks more and more unrealistic, it hurts my heart! It's another part of me I have to give up. I worked my butt off in school to gain skills and busted butt to advance in my position with my company. I LOVE/LOVED my job!! I worked in the operating room and got to see so much cool stuff!! I got to help care for patients and provide a service that both helped patients recover from major surgery as well as ease some of the stress off the donor blood bank system. I'm an autotransfusionist and PRP/BMAC tech (put simply, I get to do fun and cool things with blood!)
When I started this post I was going to list the things I've had to give up leading up to 2020 but I find myself feeling a little more hopeful in sharing this. Amazing what some writing can do for the soul! So I will share some things I've GAINED over this past year instead and I encourage you to do the same in the comments. Name 2-3 positive things you've gained do to your illness.
1. I've gained the ability to spend more time with my kids! My youngest (twins) just turned 7 and it makes me sad to know they are my last babies. I love that not only do I get extra snuggles and time with them; but that at the moment, I am the one helping to expand their education. Teaching them to read, write and lear many other first grade skills.
2. I've gained the ability to bond more with my older kids. They started middle and high school this year, they are distance learning through the school district so I oversee their work and help them when needed. Communication is my number one priority as a mother and this time allows me to build those relationships with my teen/tween-agers. They are becoming such amazing humans! They see my struggle and they go out of their way to bring me breakfast in bed every morning and snuggle. I wake up each morning to at least two of my four children smiling, laughing and snuggling with me in bed. It is the absolute best feeling!
3. I've gained the ability to be able to rest whenever my body needs it. No waiting till the weekend or after I've come home from work, picked kids up from school, helped with homework, made dinner, gave baths, helped the kids deal with any issues they faced during their day at school and read 7 bedtime stories. I get to take a moment whenever I need it to restore my strength so I can continue to rock this motherhood gig! #LoveLife